"TWO GENTLEMEN OF LEBOWSKI"

http://www.runleiarun.com/lebowski/

"TWO GENTLEMEN OF LEBOWSKI"
FAQs AND BLATANT ADVERTISING FOR GENERAL READERSHIP
Information Regarding the Creation of the Work.

"How many people worked on this?"
Exactly one. Adam Bertocci. He doesn't get out much.

"How the hell do you pronounce that name, anyway?"
Ber-TAH-chee. Rhymes with 'Versace'.

"So what are you, an unemployed English major?"
No, I'm an unemployed film major. (Northwestern University.) With a minor in English lit.

"How long did it take you to do this?"
The short answer is: about three weeks. The first draft was written over one weekend while everyone else was seeing Avatar. There were a couple weeks more of revisions, on and off in between work and the holidays. The play was finalized in early 2010, posted on Wednesday January 6th (you got a date Wednesday, baby!) and went viral pretty much instantly.

"What was your inspiration?"
I just posted a funny little message on Facebook wherein I 'translated' a couple of famous lines from The Big Lebowski to amuse people. They amused pretty much only me. Anyway a month or so later I got bored and started typing.

"So you're on Facebook! Can I friend you?"
Please don't.

"Why did you decide to undertake this project?"
I am a screenwriter, and sometimes it's very hard to get attention from the powers that be in the industry. I was frustrated with the trouble I was having getting interest in my screenplays from production companies, agents, managers, the whole deal. I decided what I needed was a publicity stunt. My hope was that the buzz from Two Gentlemen of Lebowski would help me get some attention for my 'real' projects. What I didn't expect was how huge a project it would become for me in and of itself!

"So did the publicity stunt work?"
Pretty much. Although my screenwriting career hasn't been directly affected yet. (Can you fix that?! See below.)

On Adaptation of the Web Site to Other Media.

"Are there any plans for a book?"
The play is now represented by a literary agent at one of the top agencies in New York. We have publisher interest; the next step is to get the approval of the rights holders.

"Can I see this performed?"
Be aware that this is an unauthorized parody and any and all productions are themselves unauthorized, without the participation or approval of the creators of The Big Lebowski.

"Will you bring the show to (insert city here)?"
I don't bring the show anywhere; bringing shows places is the job of theatre companies, who find a director and actors and crew and a venue. I maintain no legal, formal or financial relationship with any such company.

"So what is your role in the stage productions?"
I have none. I'm just a guy who wrote something on the Internet. No company has ever received permission or rights from me to perform my intellectual property on stage (especially since, as I've warranted, I don't own the rights to The Big Lebowski), merely my choice not to stop them.

"Will this be performed at Lebowskifest?"
The staff of Lebowskifest is aware of the piece. What happens next is out of my hands.
*
Sample dialogue from "Two Gentlemen of Lebowski":

WOO: Rise, and speak wisely, man — but hark; I see thy rug, as woven i’ the Orient, a treasure from abroad. I like it not. I’ll stain it thus; ever thus to deadbeats. [He stains the rug]

THE KNAVE: Sir, prithee nay!

*

WALTER: In sooth, then, faithful friend, this was a rug of value? Thou wouldst call it not a rug among ordinary rugs, but a rug of purpose? A star in a firmament, in step with the fashion alike to the Whitsun morris-dance? A worthy rug, a rug of consequence, sir?

THE KNAVE: It was of consequence, I should think; verily, it tied the room together, gather’d its qualities as the sweet lovers’ spring grass doth the morning dew or the rough scythe the first of autumn harvests. It sat between the four sides of the room, making substance of a square, respecting each wall in equal harmony, in geometer’s cap; a great reckoning in a little room. Verily, it transform’d the room from the space between four walls presented, to the harbour of a man’s monarchy.

*

THE KNAVE: Let me not to the marriage of false impressions deny impediments. I am not Master Lebowski; thou art Master Lebowski. I am the Knave, called the Knave. Or His Knaveness, or mayhap Knaver, or mayhap El Knaverino, in the manner of the Spaniard, if brevity be not in thy soul nor wit. A Knave by any other name would abide just as well.

*

THE KNAVE: I speak of information borne anew! I blither of the new stuff come to light! Know ye she kidnapped herself? ‘Tis true! A lady happy fair, spurn’d, thou knowest, in the parlance of our time, ne’er borrower nor lender be, to known nymphs and satyrs; Yet I am well, I am well. She must feed a wilderness of monkeys; occurr’st that?

LEBOWSKI: In faith, Master Lebowski, it occurr’d not.

BRANDT: It had not occurr’d to us, Knave.

THE KNAVE: That it occurr’st not to ye, I forgive, for ye be privy not to the new stuff; that is why I am charged. As such, might we speak of settling accounts? Mine equerry feareth for mine excises.

*

WALTER: O toe! Thou wouldst have a toe? A toe can be obtain’d. Ways are known, Knave. Thou wilt not like to hear. I’ll have a toe for thee this afternoon. Ere singeth cockerel at three o’clock. These amateurs would have us soil’d with fear.

*

WALTER: This befalleth when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks, Laurence! Understand’st thou? Dost thou attend me? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence, when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks?!