MATT DRUDGE IS GAY FOR TOM BRADY!!!

XXXXX KONFORMIST REPORT XXXXX SUN FEB 03 20088 XXXXX

EXCLUSIVE FROM THE KONFORMIST!!!
MUST CREDIT ROBERT STERLING & THE KONFORMIST!!!

MATT DRUDGE IS GAY FOR TOM BRADY!!!

If there were any questions before this season started if Tom Brady was truly a great quarterback or merely a good one on a great team, he pretty much silenced them. Finally given weapons at receiver (most notably Randy Moss, the best receiver in football over the past decade) that Peyton Manning long has had as his personal luxury, he had what would have to be the best season in NFL history by any quarterback, throwing for a record 50 touchdowns vs. only eight interceptions, leading the Patriots to an unprecedented 16-0 regular season. (The undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins only played a 14-game regular season.) He followed that up by completing 26 of 28 passes (a NFL record 92.9% completion percentage for a game) with 3 TDs in the AFC semifinals. And though he threw 3 interceptions in the AFC Championship game, he is the heavy favorite to win his 4th Super Bowl today against the New York Giants, which would tie him with Terry Bradshaw and Joe Montana (AKA "The Greatest Quarterback of All-Time") for most Super Bowl wins ever by a QB. And its only his eighth season.

Okay, so I give Mr. Brady the deserved respect he's earned this season and his career, whether he wins today or not. One thing that has long puzzled me, though, is why Terrific Tom has long been so heavily featured on The Drudge Report. Granted, Brady is an incredible QB, and this has been an amazing season for both him and the Patriots. Still, even before this year, Brady has been heavily featured on the Drudge Report. This is odd because, well, Mr. Drudge has never seemed to be a sports-loving kind of guy. Indeed, aside from right-wing politics and White House blowjobs, the subjects that Drudge long has fixated on are Barbara Streisand, Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell, not to mention dishing out other Hollywood celebrity gossip.

Some would argue its politics: many of Drudge breathless posts about Brady have mentioned the possibility that he is privately a Republican. The problem with this explanation is, even if it is true, that would hardly make him unique. NFL quarterbacks are, for the most part, rich white jocks, a group of people that certainly lean to the right. Meanwhile, look at some of the names of great quarterbacks over the Drudge era: John Elway, Brett Favre, Kurt Warner (who certainly is an open right-wing poster boy) and Peyton Manning. None have received anywhere the amount of coverage on Drudge that Brady has, even before this season.

On closer examination, the Drudge posts on Brady being a closet Republican seem to be some sort of wish fulfillment. They resemble in style what a post by me would look like if I reported rumors that Jessica Alba has a weakness for underpaid conspiracy theorists in their late thirties. (Though Cash "The Luckiest Man on the Planet" Warren doesn't quite fit the bill.)

Which leads to another explanation: a decade ago, The Konformist became the first place to report the rampant West Hollywood rumors that Matt Drudge was gay. (The article was cleverly titled "Matt Drudge Is a Homo!!!" Boy, am I clever or what?) The rumors, though still not admitted as true by Drudge to pacify his reactionary audience, have since been confirmed by multiple sources, most notably David Brock in his book Blinded by the Right. That said, isn't the best explanation for the Drudge obsession with Brady nothing more than a homosexual celebrity crush?

Can Matt Drudge be blamed for being unable to resist the charms that have swept Gisele Bundchen off her feet? No, of course not. So our advice to Drudge: come out of the closet and interview Tommy in a wedding gown. After all, he's still looking for a permanent Mrs. Brady...