The Masturbating to Mary Tyler Moore Society

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The Masturbating to Mary Tyler Moore Society
10.10.2009
Richard Metzger

Topics:
Kooks

There are many times a day we modern folk here at Dangerous Minds, have the occasion to click on a link sent from a total stranger only to have our minds completely stop working for a moment. This was one of those times… times ten.

Behold the flyer for Masturbating to Mary Tyler Moore. Apparently a “society” founded by a fellow named James J. Kagel of Cleveland, Ohio, Mr. Kagel is (or was) attempting to connect to others who share his fetish for, in his words, “jacking off” to photographs of beloved actress and comedienne, Mary Tyler Moore’s “beautifully curved, ever so shapely, silken, creamy smooth, seductive, velvety soft, long, lean, graceful, tantilizing, erotic, sinuously sexy LEGS [...] (not to mention her lickable feet)!” End quote.

Kagel goes on to totally over-share about his fetish for MTM’s legs developed as a boy watching her on the Dick Van Dyke Show and her own eponymously-titled, long-running TV series. He mentions that he is “proud” to admit to masturbating to Moore’s gams — I, for one, believe him — and that his wife bears a “slight resemblance” in the face and legs department to the actress. He even asks members of the Mary Tyler Moore Masturbation Society to send him their own MTM leg fantasies! (I wonder how many people joined?!?!)

Clearly a product of a pre-Internet time (I’m guessing late 80s) you can pretty much tell that it was made with a type-writer, scissors and glue stick. I won’t describe any more of it, you’ll have to read it for yourself, but this truly had us ON THE FLOOR gasping for breath. This flyer is all kinds of wrong, but my god is it fucking hilarious. Even the obvious, kooky sincerity of it is mind-bending in the extreme.

And then you have to wonder what Mary Tyler Moore herself thought about this when she saw it, because you just know that at some point in the last twenty years, someone had to have shown this to her.