Christmas Day Q & A: Santa considering relocation

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Christmas Day Q & A: Santa considering relocation
Merry Christmas: North Pole official takes time to discuss rumors
KELLY KEARSLEY AND C.R. ROBERTS; The News Tribune
12/25/09

Sunny Torvaldson, age 212, is executive director of the North Pole Economic and Community Development Office. Since taking the job in 1872, Torvaldson has weathered many a storm, including the blizzard of 1950, which delayed Santa’s departure by three hours.

In her years of community development, Torvaldson has recruited several small businesses to the Pole and was instrumental in the placement of a Starbucks inside the workshop.

The most pressing and immediate issue facing Torvaldson and the citizens of the North Pole, according to press reports, is Santa’s pending decision to possibly relocate his headquarters.

The News Tribune met with Torvaldson earlier this week at her office on Candy Cane Lane.

So Santa is contemplating moving his operation out of the North Pole?

Yes, that’s what we have heard. He has not responded directly to our inquiries, but we have heard that he is concerned about competing for and recruiting talent. He has also complained about the lack of parking around the workshop.

What is the development office doing to ensure the workshop stays here?

We’re speaking with some local banks and our legislators to build a $23.8 billion incentive package. We’ll build a new workshop where the reindeer stables are now, and we’re prepared to offer a 300-year lease.

Have you received any response?

We are confident that our offer will outshine anything Santa might be hearing from Iceland. Granted, that’s a more cosmopolitan locale, what with its swanky ice hotels and parties with Bjork, but please, be real. All their offer really comes down to is nothing more than a bucket of peppermint sticks and a discount on hay for the reindeer.

One of Santa’s concerns is room to expand the workshop. Are you working on anything that might help?

One of our local investors, Erivan Haub, has hired designers to develop some land he owns over by the unmarried-elf dormitory. It would either be a new workshop altogether or an adjunct to what we have now. There are several possibilities.

If Santa does leave, what kind of contingencies do you have in place for the survival of the North Pole as a viable economic center?

I don’t want to consider that, but if it happened it could be a real opportunity to recruit some new businesses. We have already received several inquiries that I am not at liberty to discuss.

What kind of businesses? Can you offer any detail?

Let’s just say we could be the call-center capital of the Northern Hemisphere. In fact, some gnomes have already opened customer-service centers for Expedia, Hewlett-Packard and Fruitcake Emporium.

Looking ahead, how do you see the recession playing out at the North Pole.

First, let me assure all of the children of the world that Santa will be making his rounds as usual on Christmas Eve. There is nothing to worry about.

Still, there have been layoffs and some of the elves have volunteered for furloughs. Unemployment is hovering at 0.2 percent, an all-time high, and I’ve heard that the managers at the workshop have lowered the heat a few degrees to save money.

How has global warming affected your plans for the future?

We had a seat at the conference in Copenhagen earlier this month. We were one of the first to sign the Kyoto Accords. There’s no question that we want to keep the ice cap, but worst case – we form a port district and build a container facility.

Back to the proposed move. I’m wondering if...

Actually, I don’t mean to correct you, but there is no real proposal that the workshop will be moved. As far as I know, it’s only a rumor.

Fine. Back to the rumor. Doesn’t it seem a bit odd to you that such a firmly grounded institution would consider leaving the North Pole?

I’m glad you asked. Santa’s workshop has been headquartered at the Pole for as long as anybody here can remember, and some of the older elves have very long memories. But ever since Hickory Farms made an offer to buy the workshop in 2003, there has been talk. Santa decided than that he didn’t want to become a subsidiary of a cheese factory. I do believe much of his decision, whatever it is, will be based on his respect for tradition and his desire to honor the beliefs of good little girls and boys across the globe.

Still, I recognize that we live in a changing world. The NPECDO stands ready to assist in any way.

All the workshop discussion aside, what else is your office working on?

There’s the sleigh museum – they were supposed to break ground 84 years ago but construction has been delayed. Mrs. Claus is leading the fight to attract a grocery store in the urban core, and all the elves are hoping for a Trader Joe’s. There’s word that McMenamins is interested in developing one of Santa’s old igloos into a resort-hotel. I’m optimistic, whatever the future might actually bring.

Thanks for taking the time to talk with us.

Glad to do it, and by the way, Merry Christmas to all.

Kelly Kearsley: 253-597-8573
kelly.kearsley@thenewstribune.com

C.R. Roberts: 253-597-8535
c.r.roberts@thenewstribune.com