Stoner Cooking 3-4-13

Bayou Chicken & Sausage Gumbo
by Jamie Taerbaum and Dru Melton, Soupbox, Inc., Chicago, Illinois
https://www.cafetecumseh.com/Recipe.aspx?recipe=bayou-chicken-and-sausage-gumbo

Serves 8

This is our version of a New Orleans tradition—a one-pot dish with chicken and andouille sausage that’s kicked up with garlic, cayenne pepper, and finished with a touch of filé powder.

1 pound bone-in Smart Chicken split breasts
1 pound bone-in Smart Chicken thighs
1 pound Smart Chicken andouille sausage, cut into ½-inch coins
1 large onion, diced
1 green pepper, diced
2 ribs celery, diced
5 cloves garlic, smashed
1 cup frozen okra, thawed
64 ounces chicken stock
1 cup long grain white rice
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
½ teaspoon white pepper
½ teaspoon thyme
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
1 teaspoon filé powder*
½ cup canola oil
½ cup flour

Combine the paprika, seasoned salt, and white pepper and sprinkle liberally over the chicken breasts and thighs. Warm the oil in a large stockpot over medium-high heat. Brown the chicken in the hot oil, about 4 minutes per side. Remove and set aside. Lower heat to medium-low and add the flour to the pot. Cook the roux, stirring constantly with a wooden spatula to avoid burning, for 15 to 20 minutes until a light caramel color is achieved. Add the onion, green pepper and celery and cook until translucent, about 10 minutes. Add the Smart Chicken sausage, garlic, thyme, and salt and cook for two minutes, stirring constantly. Add the reserved chicken pieces along with the chicken stock and bring the gumbo to a boil. When a boil is reached, turn heat to medium-low and simmer the gumbo for one hour.

After an hour, remove the chicken and pull the meat from the bones. Add the rice directly to the pot and simmer until the rice is tender, about 20 to 25 minutes. Stir in the pulled chicken, okra, and cayenne pepper to taste and cook for another 15 minutes to allow the flavors to develop. Remove from the heat and stir in the filé powder.

Serve in deep bowls; garnish with scallions.

*Filé powder, also called gumbo filé, is a spicy herb derived from sassafras leaves. It can be purchased at most grocery stores, specialty food markets, spice retailers, or online.

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Stuffed Zucchini with Cheeze Sauce
http://www.youresovegan.com/2/post/2012/10/stuffed-zucchini-with-cheeze-sauce.html

2 large zucchini, sliced vertically and hollowed (seeds removed)
5 baby bella mushrooms, diced fine
1/2 large white onion, diced fine
1 poblano pepper, seeded and diced fine
2 clove garlic
1 tsp of fresh or freeze dried chives
1/4 cup coarse bread crumbs
1/4 cup cheeze sauce
Salt and pepper to taste

Saute the onions, poblano, mushrooms and garlic in pan using a touch of veggie spray until slightly brown. Add breadcrumbs and chives, mix, add cheeze sauce, mix. Set aside. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Place the zucchini in a shallow roasting pan, hollowed side up. You can shave off a sliver of the other side so they lay flat in the pan. It's a neat little trick so that they don't roll around too much when baking or on the plate. Stuff the hollow side with the filling and cover with foil. Bake in oven at 400 for about 15 minutes. Uncover and broil for about 5 minutes. Top with a spoonful more of cheeze sauce.

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Apple, Havarti and Turkey Wrap
http://www.columbussalame.com/our-kitchen/recipes/recipe/apple-havarti-and-turkey-wrap-spinach-tzatziki-sauce/

2 slices Columbus Reduced Sodium Turkey
1 slice Columbus Havarti Cheese
1 - 2 tsp. Columbus Honey Mustard
1 multi-grain wrap
1/4 cup Granny Smith apples, very thinly sliced
1/3 cup arugula or spinach

Spinach Tzatziki Sauce Ingredients
1 cup baby spinach leaves, roughly julienned, packed
8 oz. Greek yogurt
1  cucumber, seeded/skinned, roughly chopped
1 - 2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tsp. fresh dill, chopped
Juice from 1 lemon
Salt and pepper to taste

For the Apple, Havarti and Turkey Wrap:

Spread the Honey Mustard over the multi grain wrap. Place the turkey on one end of the wrap and top with the havarti. Layer the apple slices, followed by the arugula/spinach.

Starting at the end where your ingredients are layered, begin rolling the wrap up carefully and tightly so none of the food items fall out.

Cut the finished wrap in half with a serrated knife and insert a toothpick to hold together. Serve with Spinach Tzatziki Sauce.

For the Spinach Tzatziki Sauce:

Peel and cut cucumber in half, length-wise; scoop out seeds and roughly chop the cucumber. Lay the chopped cucumber over paper towels and pat with another paper towel until completely dry.  This helps to keep the sauce from being too runny.

Place the drained cucumber, minced garlic, chopped dill and the lemon juice into a food processor and puree.

Fold the cucumber puree into the Greek yogurt and season with salt and pepper to taste. Gently add the julienned spinach, stirring to blend. Serve chilled.

Makes 1 wrap

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Spicy Roasted Sweet Potatoes
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/soul-food-junkies/recipe-winner.html

2 ½ pounds sweet potatoes peeled and cut into chunks
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons agave nectar (may substitute pure maple syrup)
1 tablespoon of fresh-squeezed lime juice
4 cloves garlic (minced)
1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon allspice
½ cup fresh scallions (chopped for garnish)

1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Spray cooking spray lightly on a large foil-lined baking sheet.

2. In a large bowl, combine olive oil, agave nectar, lime juice, garlic, fresh ginger and spices. Then add sweet potatoes; toss and coat well.

3. Place seasoned sweet potatoes onto a baking pan and spread them out into a single layer, so they can roast evenly.

4. Roast sweet potatoes in oven, stirring occasionally, for about 40 - 45 minutes or until they are golden brown, tender, and caramelized. Remove from oven and season with a little salt and pepper to taste, if desired. Then place in serving dish, garnish with fresh scallions.

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Reuben Cheese Dip
http://www.cellocheese.com/recipe/reuben-cheese-dip

12 servings (1/4 cup each)
Cook Time: 2 hours
Prep Time: 10 mins.

4 oz Cello Cracker Cut French Swiss (1/2 row, 16 slices)
4 oz Cello Cracker Cut Creamy Havarti (1/2 row, 16 slices)
4 oz Cello Cracker Cut Dutch Gouda (1/2 row, 16 slices)
1/2 C. mayonnaise
2 Tbsp. sweet pickle relish
2 Tbsp. ketchup
1/2 C. sauerkraut, rinsed, drained, chopped
8 oz deli corned beef, chopped
Rye or pumpernickel cocktail bread

Spray insert of 1 to 1 /2-quart slow cooker with cooking spray.

Cut rows of Cello Cracker Cut French Swiss, Creamy Havarti and Dutch Gouda in half lengthwise. Break apart into chunks and place in slow cooker.

Add all remaining ingredients except bread. Mix well.

Cover; cook on Low heat setting 2 to 2 1/2 hours or until cheese is completely melted, stirring once or twice. Keep warm over Low heat up to 30 minutes.

Serve with bread slices.

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Chorizo and Shrimp Quesadillas with Smoky Guacamole
Recipe courtesy Rachael Ray
Show: 30 Minute Meals
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/chorizo-and-shrimp-quesadillas-with-smoky-guacamole-recipe

Total Time:
25 min
Prep
10 min
Cook
15 min
Yield:
4 servings

2 ripe Haas avocados
1 lime, juiced
A couple pinches salt
1/4 cup sour cream, 3 rounded tablespoonfuls
2 chipotle peppers in adobo, available in cans on specialty food aisle in Mexican section
1/2 pound chorizo sausage, sliced thin on an angle
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil, plus some for drizzling
1 clove garlic, cracked away from skin and crushed
12 large shrimp, peeled and deveined, tails removed, ask for easy-peels at fish counter
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 (12- inch) flour tortillas
1/2 pound, 2 cups, shredded pepper Jack cheese

Cut avocados all the way around with a sharp knife. Scoop out the pit, then spoon avocado flesh away from skin into a food processor. Add the juice of 1 lime, a couple of pinches salt, sour cream and chipotles in adobo. Pulse guacamole until smooth. Transfer to a serving bowl.

Heat a 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium high heat. Brown chorizo 2 to 3 minutes, then remove from pan. Add oil, garlic, then shrimp. Season shrimp with salt and pepper and cook shrimp until pink, 2 or 3 minutes. Transfer shrimp to a cutting board and coarsely chop.

Add a drizzle of oil to the pan and a large tortilla. Cook tortilla 30 seconds, then turn. Cover 1/2 of the tortilla with a couple of handfuls of cheese. Arrange a layer of chorizo and shrimp over the cheese and fold tortilla over. Press down gently with a spatula and cook tortilla a minute or so on each side to melt cheese and crisp. Remove quesadilla to large cutting board and repeat with remaining ingredients. Cut each quesadilla into 5 wedges and transfer to plates with your spatula. Top wedges of quesadillas with liberal amounts of smoky guacamole.

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cauliflower soup with farro
http://lacucinaitalianamagazine.com/recipe/cauliflower-soup-with-farro

4 to 6 servings

This earthy soup of cauliflower and farro packs a nutritional punch as well. Though often discarded, cauliflower leaves are edible and add color and flavor to the bowl, so include them, too.

4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 small red onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, gently smashed and peeled
1 cup farro
1 (2- to 2 1/2-pound) head cauliflower with leaves, florets cut into 3/4-inch pieces (about 5 cups); stems cut crosswise into 1/2-inch pieces; leaves coarsely chopped
3 cups beef broth
3 cups water
Fine sea salt
Freshly ground pepper

In a wide, heavy saucepan or Dutch oven, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and garlic, reduce heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened (do not brown), about 10 minutes.

Add farro, increase heat to medium-high and cook, stirring frequently, until farro is lightly toasted, about 5 minutes. Add cauliflower florets, stems and leaves, broth and water. Bring to a gentle simmer; cook until farro is tender, 25 to 30 minutes. Stir in 3/4 teaspoon salt. Season with pepper and adjust salt to taste.

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Rustic Ratatouille
http://www.self.com/fooddiet/recipes/2012/11/rustic-ratatouille

Serves 6

4 small zucchini (about 1 lb), cut into 1-inch pieces
1 medium eggplant (about 1 lb), cut into 1-inch pieces
3 medium red bell peppers, cut into 1-inch pieces
3 medium onions, sliced
1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
1 teaspoon salt, divided
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
Vegetable oil cooking spray
2 cans (14 oz each) chickpeas, rinsed and drained
8 plum tomatoes (about 1 lb), seeded and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 1/2 teaspoons sherry wine vinegar or balsamic vinegar
3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil

Heat oven to 450°. In a bowl, toss zucchini, eggplant, bell pepper and onion with thyme, rosemary, 3/4 tsp salt, black pepper, 2 tbsp water and oil. Coat a rimmed sheet pan with cooking spray. Spread veggies in pan in a single layer; roast, stirring once, 25 minutes. In same bowl, combine chickpeas, tomatoes, garlic, tomato paste and remaining 1/4 tsp salt. Add to pan with veggies in a single layer; roast 10 to 12 minutes more. Toss veggies with vinegar; divide among 6 bowls; sprinkle with basil.

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Shaved Leg Of Lamb With Fresh Cherries, Pancetta And “Sugo Naturale”
http://superiorfarms.com/the-lamb-kitchen/lamb-recipes/item/leg-of-lamb-with-fresh-cherries-pancetta-sugo-naturale.html

Serves: 8

Lamb Leg

5 lb. Lamb Leg (skinned or boneless)
1/2 lb. Carrot
1/2 lb. Onion
1/2 lb. Celery Root
2 Heads of garlic
4 Sprigs of rosemary (minced)
3 Tbsp of dijon mustard
1/2 cup of grapeseed oil

Lamb “Sugo Naturale”
Lamb Drippings from roast (approx. 1/2 cup)
1 cup red wine
1/2 cup sugar
Strained fat from rendered pancetta (approx. 1/2 cup)
2 Tablespoons raspberry vinegar

Garnish for Lamb
3/4 lb. Pancetta (Italian bacon)
3/4 lb. Cherries (Pitted)
1/4 lb. Chives (minced)
1/4 lb. Parsley (minced)

Directions

Leg of Lamb

Tie lamb leg tightly with butcher twine

Peel and cut vegetables into one-inch pieces

Half the garlic cloves

Lay lamb leg on top of vegetables and garlic in a small roasting pan and roast at 200 degrees Fahrenheit for 6 hours or until interior temperature reaches 150 degrees Fahrenheit.

Remove lamb from pan and let cool in refrigerator

Reserve drippings from lamb for sauce (approximately 1/2 cup)

Once lamb is cool slice as thin as possible (approximately 1/16 inch)

Toss sliced lamb with dijon mustard, minced rosemary and grapeseed oil
Salt+pepper to taste

*When ready to serve, place lamb in a pan and “flash” warm in oven

Garnish for Lamb

Cut pancetta into 1/4 inch squares

Slowly cook pancetta in a sauté pan on low heat until crispy

Strain through strainer and save the fat (approximately 1/2 cup)

Toss the cherries with the warm pancetta and spoon over the sliced lamb

Sprinkle the chives and parsley over cherries, pancetta and sliced lamb to garnish

Lamb “Sugo Naturale”

Take the roasting pan with the lamb drippings and vegetables and strain through a fine strainer. Discard vegetables.

Return drippings to roasting pan and turn heat to medium on stovetop

Add sugar, red wine and raspberry vinegar

Reduce half way and strain again into a small saucepan

Top with pancetta fat and serve over warm lamb

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Perfect Sesame Chicken Recipe
http://www.thechickenrecipes.net/chicken-breast-65/perfect-sesame-chicken-recipe

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon dry sherry
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 dash sesame oil
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast meat – cubed

1 cup chicken broth
1 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
2 tablespoons dark soy sauce
2 tablespoons sesame oil
1 teaspoon chile paste
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 cup water

1 quart olive oil for frying
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds

Sift flour, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, baking soda, and baking powder into a bowl. Pour in low-sodium soy sauce, sherry, 2 tablespoons water, vegetable oil, and a dash of sesame oil; stir until smooth. Stir in chicken until coated with the batter, then cover, and refrigerate for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, bring chicken broth, sugar, vinegar, dark soy sauce, sesame oil, chile paste, and garlic to a boil in a saucepan over high heat. Dissolve 1/4 cup cornstarch into 1/2 cup of water, and stir into boiling sauce. Simmer until the sauce thickens and turns clear, about 2 minutes. Reduce heat to low, and keep sauce warm.

Heat olive oil in a deep fryer or large saucepan to a temperature of 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

Drop in the battered chicken pieces, a few at a time, and fry until they turn golden brown and float to the top of the oil, 3 to 4 minutes. Drain on a paper towel lined plate. To serve, place fried chicken pieces onto a serving platter, and pour the hot sauce overtop. Sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds to garnish.

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Avocado Cream Pasta Sauce Recipe
Vegetarian pasta sauce recipes need more avocados
http://www.foodrepublic.com/2012/06/18/avocado-cream-pasta-sauce-recipe

A vegetarian pasta sauce recipe with no tomatoes? It must be avocado season.

Servings:2

1/2 box whole wheat thin spaghetti or pasta of choice
1/2 lemon
1 avocado, halved and pitted
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 clove garlic
1 bunch parsley
Salt and pepper

Bring salted water to a boil in a medium sized pot. Add in your pasta, reduce heat to medium, and cook until al dente, about 8-10 minutes.
Meanwhile, make the sauce by placing the garlic, lemon juice and olive oil into a food processor. Process until smooth.
Now add in the pitted avocado, herbs and salt. Process until smooth and creamy.
When pasta is done cooking, drain and rinse in a strainer and place pasta into a large bowl.
Pour on sauce and toss until fully combined. Garnish with lemon zest and black pepper. Serve immediately.

*Dish does not reheat well due to the avocado in the sauce.

Prep Time:
15 minutes
Cooking Time:
10 minutes

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Bacon, Brussel Sprouts and Collard Greens
http://ancestralchef.com/paleo-bacon-brussel-sprouts-collard-greens-the-bbc

Total Time: 1 hour, 25 minutes
Yield: 4-6 bowls

1 lb bacon slab, diced and cooked
2 lbs Brussels sprouts
4 cups chopped collard greens
6 cups of water

Place all the ingredients into a large pot with the lid on and set to simmer.

Stir every 20 minutes for 80 minutes.

Take the vegetables and bacon out, but keep the water.

You can serve just the vegetables and bacon, or you can serve as a stew/soup by adding the water it was cooked in back in.

Note: don't store the vegetables and bacon with the water!

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Chili Mac
http://www.campbellskitchen.com/recipes/recipedetails?recipeid=23084

What could be better than combining two favorites, chili and mac 'n' cheese?  This skillet dish is ready in just 45 minutes and it's sure to please!

Prep 15 min.

Total 45 min.

Serves 4

Servings: about 1 3/4 cups each

Cook: 30 min.

1 pound ground beef
1 cup Pace® Picante Sauce
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 can (14.5 ounces) whole peeled tomatoes, drained and cut up
1 cup frozen whole kernel corn
1 1/2 cups elbow macaroni, cooked and drained (about 3 cups)
1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
Sliced avocado and sour cream

1 Cook the beef in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat until well browned, stirring often to separate meat. Pour off any fat.

2 Stir the picante sauce, chili powder, tomatoes and corn in the skillet and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low.  Cook for 10 minutes.

3 Stir in the elbows.  Top with the cheese.  Cover and cook until the cheese is melted.  Top with the avocado and sour cream.

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Feta Sage Muffins
http://www.californiaoliveranch.com/recipes/desserts/feta-sage-muffins

1 1/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 cup finely ground yellow cornmeal
2 tablespoon coconut palm sugar or other granulated sugar of choice
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup canned (drained and rinsed) or cooked dried chickpeas
3/4 cup low-fat milk
3/4 cup low-fat plain yogurt
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons of California Olive Ranch extra virgin olive oil
1/3 cup chopped fresh sage
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup diced feta cheese
Directions

Step 1: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a blender or food processor, whirl together chickpeas, milk, yogurt, oil, sage and garlic until smooth.

Step 2: Pour chickpea mixture into dry ingredients and mix gently. Fold in feta. Divide mixture among 12 standard sized greased or paper lined muffin cups and bake for 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean. Let cool several minutes before unfolding. Best served warmed.

Recipe courtesy of Matthew Kadey, Muffin Tin Mania

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Extreme Banana Nut Bread
Robin DuPree
http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/bread/sweet-bread/extreme-banana-nut-bread-3.html

Serves: 20
Prep Time: 20 Min
Cook Time: 1 Hr 10 Min

1 2/3 c all purpose flour
3/4 tsp salt
1 3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 c and 4 teaspoons of butter
1 2/3 c white sugar
1 2/3 c mashed overripe bananas
3 eggs beaten
3/4 c and 4 teaspoons chopped walnuts

Robin's Notes:

I was given this recipe in Culinary School by one of my Professors, and I can't get enough.... This is my mom's dense, excellent and definitely unhealthy banana nut bread recipe. This is great at parties, but hazardous at home. Use any type of fat in place of the butter, such as shortening or oil. It works with brown or white sugar. I followed the recipe to the exact measurements, and I will have to admit that I almost ate the whole loaf at one sitting. HAZARDOUS!

Comments from the Test Kitchen:

This made the Test Kitchen smell amazing! The dense, nutty bread is oh-so-moist and will win over even the non-banana lovers in your life.

1 Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9x5 inch loaf pans.

2 SIft the flour, salt, and baking soda into a large bowl. In a separate bowl, mix together the butter or margarine and sugar until smooth. Mix in the bananas, eggs, and walnuts until well blended.

3 Pour the wet ingredients into the dry mixture, and stir until blended. Divide the batter evenly between the two loafs.

4 Bake for 60 to 70 minutes in the preheated oven, until a knife inserted into the crown of the loaf comes out clean. Let the loaves cool in the pans for at least 5 minutes, then turn out onto a cooling rack, and cool completely.

5 Wrap in aluminum foil to keep in the moisture. Ideally, refrigerate the loaves for two hours or more before serving.

TIP: Do not taste or cut the loaves in advance.

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Deep-Fried Coke Recipe
Nuggets of fried Coke batter for dessert!
BY DENISE GEE AND ROBERT PEACOCK
http://www.foodrepublic.com/2013/01/10/deep-fried-coke-recipe
   
Deep-fried coke, for your next recipe-slash-party trick!

The nice folks from Portlandia pickle it, and the nice folks from Food Republic deep-fry it. Realistically there's nothing we won't batter and fry, so when we heard that the mythical deep-fried Coke recipe had been published by cookbook author/photographer team Denise Gee and Robert Peacock, we jumped right on it. Ready to pop until you can't stop?

Since Abel’s recipe is a secret, this comes pretty dadgum close to what he invented in 2006 — a concoction of fried Coca-Cola batter that sold 10,000 cups in just two weeks.

Reprinted with permission from Sweet on Texas.

Servings:6

3 eggs
2 cups Coca-Cola
1/4 cup granulated sugar
3 to 4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
vegetable oil for deep frying
powdered sugar
Pure cola syrup
Garnish (optional)
whipped cream
maraschino cherries

In a large bowl, beat the eggs, then add the Coca-Cola and granulated sugar.
Sift 2 cups of the flour, the baking powder, and salt and add to the Coca-Cola mixture. Mix while adding more flour, until the batter is smooth and not too thick.
Heat the oil to 375°F in a deep fryer.
Drop 1 1/2-inch dough balls into the fryer and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, until golden. Remove them with a slotted spoon to paper towels to drain.
Sprinkle the fried Coke balls with powdered sugar while they are still hot, and douse with cola syrup.
Garnish with whipped cream and maraschino cherries, if desired, and serve.

Significa 3-4-13

RIP

Conrad Bain: TV dad of Gary Coleman, Todd Bridges & Dana Plato as Philip Drummond on Diff'rent Strokes.  His evil twin brother once collaborated with the planet Zontar to take over Earth...

Which manager has the highest winning percentage in MLB since 1960?  Earl Weaver of the Baltimore Orioles...

Stan Musial won seven National League batting titles, was a three-time M.V.P. and helped the St. Louis Cardinals capture three World Series championships...

30 Rock, a show that went out like a great show is supposed to.  In honor of Tina Fey, Ben & Jerry's has introduced  a Liz Lemon Greek Frozen Yogurt...

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Is it just me, or is anyone less upset about Lance Armstrong's drug doping than his choosing to admit it in an interview with Oprah?  Come on, Lance!  If you're gonna owe up to cheating, at least do it with an interview with some guts like Bob Costas!!!

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Ryan Page to write and direct Kennedy conspiracy pic 'Dallas in Wonderland'
13th Sign Pictures will fund and produce thriller co-written by Adam Parfrey
JEFF SNEIDER
1-16-2013
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118064742

As the 50th anniversary of President John F. Kennedy's assassination approaches, the mystery surrounding the murder has inspired another indie movie, as Tommy Alastra and Joe Mundo of 13th Sign Pictures have signed on to finance and produce "Dallas in Wonderland," a conspiracy thriller that will be directed by Ryan Page ("Queens of Country").

Written by Page and Adam Parfrey, contemporary story follows a documentary filmmaker and his female producer who are hired by a major TV network to do a puff piece for their planned motorcade reenactment that will take place during a televised memorial ceremony. Finding themselves wrapped up in the network's plot to prove that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, the duo close in on the central narrative surrounding one of history's greatest murder mysteries, triggering the climax of JFK's assassination to play out in front of a worldwide TV audience.

"Adam Parfrey and I [have] crafted what feels to us like an altogether new kind of thriller, featuring the very latest research done in the JFK assassination case," said Page, who will produce with Alastra and Mundo. "This story has not fully been told. It continues to evolve and is rife with the most interesting storylines and fascinating real-life personalities I worked with Joe and Tommy on previous films and when it came time to select our production partner for 'Dallas in Wonderland,' there was never even a debate."

The JFK assassination serves as the basis for writer-director Peter Landesman's Playtone-produced indie "Parkland," which will star Paul Giamatti as Abraham Zapruder, while director Jonathan Demme spent some time developing an adaptation of Stephen King's novel "11/22/63," though he let the project go when his option expired.

13th Sign Pictures, which is focused on telling original stories and will serve as a collaborative home for filmmakers, most recently produced the documentary "Sunset Strip," which debuted at SXSW and will air on Showtime this spring.

Parfrey owns and operates Feral House, which has been publishing innovative and celebrated non-fiction books since 1989. He also co-founded the new imprint Process Media.

Page, who directed the Lizzy Caplan-Ron Livingston pic "Queens of Country," is repped by WME and Untitled.

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Order of the Pineapple 2013: Adam Gorightly and S. John Ross
Reverend Loveshade
17 January 2013
http://23ae.com/2013/01/order-of-the-pineapple-2013-adam-gorightly-and-s-john-ross/

The Disorder of the Pineapple
The envelop for The Order of the Pineapple, please. The pineapples go to:

Adam Gorightly and S. John Ross.

S. John Ross (Pope Leo). The mind behind Novus Ordo Discordia, the Gospel of St. Pesher the Gardener, author of Steve Jackson Games’ Warehouse 23, creator of Risus and fonts used by Discordians, and “foreplayer” (foreword writer) for Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht. Patriarch Wilhelm Leonardo Pesher-Principle was a major contributor to Apocrypha Discordia, likely the first (and often considered one of the best) Discordian work of the 21st century.

Adam Gorightly. Author of The Prankster and the Conspiracy: The Story of Kerry Thornley and How He Met Oswald and Inspired the Counterculture. This is considered the primary work covering Thornley and the early Discordians, and uncovered much that was unknown. The Shadow Over Santa Susana: Black Magic, Mind Control, and “The Manson Family” Mythos is one of the most complete compilations of Charles Manson and the Manson family. He is known as the “Crackpot Historian.”

The Order of the Pineapple (aka The DisOrder of the Pineapple) honors those who contribute to discord and ek-sen-trik tendencies above and beyond the call of duty. It was first given in 1982 and is given each year on January 18 which is Pat Pineapple Day. Last year’s winners were Doctor Demento and R. Crumb. To see a list of all winners, visit:

http://op.loveshade.org

Congratulations to the new winners! Remember to eat something having to with pineapple on January 18!

Anonymous Lifeforms reporting for The Order of the Pineapple (and Reverend Loveshade)

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2013 Xtreme Eating Awards

Sources:

CNN
http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/16/health/xtreme-eating

Center for Science in the Public Interest
http://www.cspinet.org

Bistro shrimp pasta from The Cheesecake Factory. This dish of crispy battered shrimp, fresh mushrooms and arugula is tossed with spaghettini in a basil-garlic-lemon cream sauce. It weighs in at 3,120 calories, 89 grams of saturated fat and 1,090 milligrams of sodium, according to CSPI, equal to three lasagna classico entrees and a tiramisu from Olive Garden.

Cheesecake Factory's crispy chicken costoletta was not too far behind. According to the menu, it's a chicken breast lightly breaded and sautéed to a crispy golden brown. It is served with a lemon sauce, mashed potatoes and fresh asparagus. According to CSPI, it also has 2,610 calories, more than a 12-piece bucket of original recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken, and 4½ days' worth of saturated fat.

Johnny Rockets bacon cheddar double burger, sweet potato fries and Big Apple shake. This meal packs on 3,500 calories, 88 grams of saturated fat -- that's four days' worth -- 3,720 milligrams of sodium and 15 teaspoons of sugar, according to CSPI.

Country fried steak and eggs at the International House of Pancakes, or IHOP, has 1,760 calories, 23 grams of saturated fat, 3,720 milligrams of salt and 11 teaspoons -- nearly two days' worth -- of sugar, CSPI said.

The veal porterhouse at Maggiano's Little Italy has roasted garlic, caramelized onions and lemon with crispy red potatoes. It also has 2,710 calories, 45 grams of saturated fat and 3,700 milligrams of sodium, the CSPI report said.

Maggiano's chocolate zuccotto cake contains 1,820 calories, 62 grams of saturated fat and 26 teaspoons of sugar, according to CSPI.

Smoothie King's peanut power plus grape smoothie may sound healthy, but the 40-ounce size has 1,460 calories and 22 teaspoons of sugar.

Chili's full rack of baby back ribs with Shiner Bock BBQ sauce comes with homestyle fried and cinnamon apples. It also comes, according to the report, with 2,330 calories, 45 grams of saturated fat and 6,490 milligrams of salt.

And finally, Uno Chicago Grill's deep dish macaroni and three cheese had a day's worth of calories -- 1,980 -- and more than three days' worth of saturated fat, 71 grams. According to CSPI, it also contains 3,110 milligrams of sodium.

*

Awesome Quotes: Albert Einstein

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking."

*

Konformist Book Club: Urban Gardening
How To Grow Food In Any City Apartment Or Yard No Matter How Small
Will Cook

Kindle Purchase Price: $3.97
Amazon URL:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AA61NLO/thekonformist

Publication Date: November 19, 2012
Print Length: 99 pages

How To Grow An Urban Garden In Any City With Little or No Space

I Believe Every Person On This Planet Can Grow Their Own Food Using These Proven Urban Gardening Techniques

You could be just months away from a harvest of delicious, fresh organic food from your urban garden. Learn how to:

Grow A Garden On Your Balcony Or Rooftop

Even if you only have a tiny balcony to work with, you can grow fresh food and flowers there. You've probably already considered container gardening - but what about vertical gardening with vining plants that can grow up the wall or using a vertical aeroponics gardening system that can grow 20+ plants in a 4 square foot area?

And rooftops are the perfect spot for an urban garden! Not only will you love all the fresh food but the building owner will love the reduction in their heating and cooling bills and the fact that the rooftop will need less repairs and maintenance due to the protection from the plants.

Grow Vegetables And Fresh Food With An Indoor Garden

Even if you only have a window sill to work with or just a small area by a window, you can build or buy a window garden to grow at least 20 food plants like tomatoes, lettuce and kale.

You don't need fancy equipment or expensive gear to start an indoor urban garden - just a little bit of creativity and the plans and step by step instructions included in this book.

Also included is a list of the 15 best indoor plants for cleaning, purifying and removing toxins from polluted city air. Even in the heart of Manhattan you can breath fresh, pure air thanks to these incredible plants that have been studied by NASA and proven to remove pollutants like benzene, formaldehyde and Volatice Orcanic Compounds (VOCs).

Plant An Incredible Garden In Your Small Yard Or Abandoned City Plot

You might only have a very tiny yard to work with - that's okay! You can still grow a lot of incredible, fresh food and enjoy your beautiful garden. Even if you don't have a yard to work with, there's probably an abandoned plot of land somewhere in your neighborhood. You can start a community garden there often without any cost using the land as long as it's a community project. Not only will you be helping beautify the city but you'll be helping your community as well. Did you know communities that garden have lower crime rates and the residents live longer, happier lives with less stress? What if you could leave a legacy in your community by starting an urban garden?

How To Start A Garden For Beginners

Whether you're a complete beginner or just want to learn more, this gardening guidebook will teach you everything you need to know to enjoy the fruits of your own special garden. Every section includes action steps, pictures and step by step tutorials so you will know what to do and how to do it to create your perfect garden.

Special Section On Aeroponic Vertical Gardening

You'll learn how to start your own aeroponics vertical garden for less than a few hundred dollars. In the past, aeroponics and hydroponics systems were only available to the wealthy and those with extensive knowledge of agriculture and hydroponics.

If you're looking for gardening books on kindle and you're ready to start an urban garden, this is the book for you!

Ready to start gardening? Let's go!

*

John Wayne's 84 Westerns!
http://www.sptddog.com/sotp/duke.html

Here's a fun to-do list: it would probably take a while (and I believe some of the early films are actually orphan films with no existing copies) but to watch the entire John Wayne Westerns from beginning to be end is a worthy feat for any do-before-you-die. And maybe throw in his performance as Genghis Khan in The Conqueror as a bonus. (Or maybe not...)

*

Top Five PC Makers Worldwide, 2012 Quarter 4

1. Hewlett Packard
2. Lenovo
3. Dell
4. Acer Group
5. Asus

Source: IDC Worldwide Quarterly PC Tracker

"The Assassination of Hugo Chavez"

Big Oil, Big Ketchup and "The Assassination of Hugo Chavez"
Greg Palast, Truthout
Wednesday, 09 January 2013
http://truth-out.org/opinion/item/13800-big-oil-big-ketchup-and-the-assassination-of-hugo-chavez

Venezuelan President Chavez once asked me why the US elite wanted to kill him. My dear Hugo: It's the oil. And it's the Koch Brothers - and it's the ketchup.

[As a purgative for the crappola fed to Americans about Chavez, my foundation, The Palast Investigative Fund, is offering the film, The Assassination of Hugo Chavez, as a free download here. Based on my several meetings with Chavez, his kidnappers and his would-be assassins, it was filmed for BBC Television. DVDs also available.]

Reverend Pat Robertson said:

Hugo Chavez thinks we're trying to assassinate him. I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it.

It was 2005 and Robertson was channeling the frustration of George Bush's State Department. Despite Bush's providing intelligence, funds and even a note of congratulations to the crew who kidnapped Chavez (we'll get there), Hugo remained in office, re-elected and wildly popular.

But why the Bush regime's hate, hate, hate of the president of Venezuela?

Reverend Pat wasn't coy about the answer: It's the oil.

This is a dangerous enemy to our South controlling a huge pool of oil.

A really big pool of oil. Indeed, according to Guy Caruso, former chief of oil intelligence for the CIA, Venezuela holds a recoverable reserve of 1.36 trillion barrels, that is, a whole lot more than Saudi Arabia.

If we didn't kill Chavez, we'd have to do an "Iraq" on his nation. So the Reverend suggests,

We don't need another $200 billion war.... It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.

Chavez himself told me he was stunned by Bush's attacks: Chavez had been quite chummy with Bush Senior and with Bill Clinton.

So what happened to change Clinton's hugs-and-kisses policy to Bush's shoot-to-kill? Here's the answer you won't find in The New York Times:

Just after Bush's inauguration in 2001, Chavez's congress voted in a new "Law of Hydrocarbons." Henceforward, Exxon, British Petroleum, Shell Oil and Chevron would get to keep 70 percent of the sales revenues from the crude they sucked out of Venezuela. Not bad, considering the price of oil was rising toward $100 a barrel.

But to the oil companies, which had bitch-slapped Venezuela's prior government into giving them 84 percent of the sales price, a cut to 70 percent was "no bueno." Worse, Venezuela had been charging a joke of a royalty - just 1 percent - on "heavy" crude from the Orinoco Basin. Chavez told Exxon and friends they'd now have to pay 16.6 percent.

Clearly, Chavez had to be taught a lesson about the etiquette of dealings with Big Oil.

On April 11, 2002, President Chavez was kidnapped at gunpoint and flown to an island prison in the Caribbean Sea. On April 12, Pedro Carmona, a business partner of the US oil companies and president of Fedecamaras, the nation's chamber of commerce, declared himself President of Venezuela - giving a whole new meaning to the term, "corporate takeover."

US Ambassador Charles Shapiro immediately rushed down from his hilltop embassy to have his picture taken grinning with the self-proclaimed "president" and the leaders of the coup d'état.

Bush's White House spokesman admitted that Chavez was, "democratically elected," but, he added, "Legitimacy is something that is conferred not by just the majority of voters." I see.

With an armed and angry citizenry marching on the presidential palace in Caracas ready to string up the coup plotters, Carmona - the Pretend President from Exxon - returned his captive, Chavez, back to his desk within 48 hours. (How? Get The Assassination of Hugo Chavez, the film that expands on my reports for BBC Television. It's free for the next few days here, thanks to the generosity of donors to our foundation.)

Chavez had provoked the coup not just by clawing back some of the bloated royalties of the oil companies. It's what he did with that oil money that drove Venezuela's 1% to violence.

In Caracas, I ran into the reporter for a TV station whose owner is generally credited with plotting the coup against the president. While doing a publicity photo shoot, leaning back against a tree, showing her wide-open legs nearly up to where they met, the reporter pointed down the hill to the "ranchos," the slums above Caracas, where shacks, once made of cardboard and tin, where quickly transforming into homes of cinder blocks and cement.

"He [Chavez] gives them bread and bricks, so they vote for him, of course." She was disgusted by "them," the 80 percent of Venezuelans who are negro e indio (black and Indian) - and poor. Chavez, himself negro e indio, had, for the first time in Venezuela's history, shifted the oil wealth from the privileged class that called themselves "Spanish," to the dark-skinned masses.

While trolling around the poor housing blocks of Caracas, I ran into Arturo Quiran, a local merchant seaman, and no big fan of Chavez. But over a beer at his kitchen table, he told me,

Fifteen years ago under [then-President] Carlos Andrés Pérez, there was a lot of oil money in Venezuela. The 'oil boom' we called it. Here in Venezuela there was a lot of money, but we didn't see it.

But then came Hugo Chavez and now the poor in his neighborhood, "get medical attention, free operations, x-rays, medicines; education also," he said. "People who never knew how to write, now know how to sign their own papers."

Chavez's Robin Hood thing, shifting oil money from the rich to the poor, would have been grudgingly tolerated by the US. But Chavez, who told me, "We are no longer an oil colony," went further - too much further, in the eyes of the American corporate elite.

Venezuela had landless citizens by the millions - and unused land by the millions of acres tied up, untilled, on which a tiny elite of plantation owners squatted. Chavez's congress passed a law in 2001 requiring untilled land to be sold to the landless. It was a program long promised by Venezuela's politicians at the urging of John F. Kennedy as part of his "Alliance for Progress."

Plantation owner Heinz Corporation didn't like that one bit. In retaliation, Heinz closed its ketchup plant in the state of Maturin and fired all the workers. Chavez seized the Heinz plant and put the workers back on the job. Chavez didn't realize that he'd just squeezed the tomatoes of America's powerful Heinz family and Mrs. Heinz' husband, Sen. John Kerry (now, Obama's nominee for US Secretary of State).

Or, knowing Chavez as I do, he didn't give a damn.

Chavez could survive the ketchup coup, the Exxon "presidency," even his taking back a piece of the windfall of oil company profits, but he dangerously tried the patience of America's least-forgiving billionaires: the Koch Brothers.

How? Well, that's another story for another day. [Watch this space. Or read about it in the book, Billionaires & Ballot Bandits.

Elected presidents who annoy Big Oil have ended up in exile - or coffins: Mossadegh of Iran after he nationalized BP's fields (1953), Elchibey, president of Azerbaijan, after he refused demands of BP for his Caspian fields (1993), President Alfredo Palacio of Ecuador after he terminated Occidental's drilling concession (2005).

"It's a chess game, Mr. Palast," Chavez told me. He was showing me a very long and very sharp sword once owned by Simon Bolivar, the Great Liberator. "And I am," Chavez said, "a very good chess player."

In the film The Seventh Seal, a medieval knight bets his life on a game of chess with the Grim Reaper. Death cheats, of course, and takes the knight. No mortal can indefinitely outplay Death who, this week, Chavez must know, will checkmate the new Bolivar of Venezuela.

But in one last move, the Bolivarian grandmaster plays a brilliant endgame, naming Vice-President Nicolas Maduro, as good and decent a man as they come, as heir to the fight for those in the "ranchos." The 1% of Venezuela, planning on Chavez's death to return them the power and riches they couldn't win in an election, are livid with the choice of Maduro.

Chavez sent Maduro to meet me in my downtown New York office back in 2004. In our run-down detective digs on Second Avenue, Maduro and I traded information on assassination plots and oil policy.

Even then, Chavez was carefully preparing for the day when Venezuela's negros e indios would lose their king - but still stay in the game.

Class war on a chessboard. Even in death, I wouldn't bet against Hugo Chavez.

Weapon of Mass Distraction

Greg Palast
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/alex-jones-guns-piers-morgan-and-my-penis-part-two

Greg Palast is a New York Times bestselling author and fearless investigative journalist whose reports appear on BBC Television Newsnight and in The Guardian. Palast eats the rich and spits them out. Catch his reports and films at www.GregPalast.com, where you can also securely send him your documents marked, "confidential".

This is the second of Palast's weekly columns for VICE – beginning with a bang: a four-part series on Alex Jones, guns, Piers Morgan and Palast's penis.

George Bush told America he’d keep us safe from terrorists by having us take off our shoes at the airport.

Yesterday, Barack Obama again took the Oath of Office. And this Obama 2.0 is also going to save America from insane killers – by limiting ammo clips to ten bullets instead of 30.

At a television press conference about the Newtown school massacre last Wednesday, a tearful President called this, “meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this”.

It won’t.

But, once again, we get to pretend that our presidents protect us and save us from what is murdering us and destroying us.

But The Great Assault Rifle Debate, like the War on Terror, is just another Weapon of Mass Distraction.

In all fairness to Obama, he also called – as Bush did – for a massive increase in the number of FBI files kept on Americans. I feel safer already, don’t you?

Here’s the facts, ma’am: There are about 4.5 million assault rifles in American civilian hands. That’s around the same number as in tiny Switzerland (population: eight million). Tens of thousands of Swiss keep a 9mm Sig Sauer, like the one used by the Newtown killer. But we don’t see the Swiss sweeping dead kids out of their schoolyards.

The weapon of America’s deadliest mass killer, Timmy McVeigh, was fertiliser. Maybe we should ban bullshit, but that would shut down Washington and all five major TV networks.

At his assault-gun dog-and-pony show on Wednesday, Obama shed tears for the murdered victims, as well he should. But where are his tears for the victims of the MACT?

Let me explain. Last month, Obama bullied his own Environmental Protection Agency into watering down the “MACT” standards – the limits on industrial boiler pollution.

Under this loosened “MACT” rule, industry will get to triple the hydrogen chloride and triple the particulate filth they may dump into the air. The White House crows that Obama’s bending over on this rule will save corporate polluters $1.5 billion (£945 million) a year. Yippee!

The EPA’s well-hidden data also shows that Obama’s back-down will mean that 9,000 more Americans a year will die – most of them asthmatics, like me. (Don’t send flowers.)

The number of kids among the 9,000 dead represent too many Newtowns for me to bear to calculate. Obama’s giving death a big head start: By his EPA chief’s own estimate, the higher crud limits will cause 60,000 new cases of childhood asthma each and every year.

If children die from gunfire, Obama has tears for TV. But if your child suffocates in industrial goo, neither Obama nor the news give a flying fart if your kid chokes or croaks.

So, rather than take away assault rifles, we’d save far more children by taking away the President’s easy access to executive orders.

And the Republicans? Obama killing 9,000 more asthmatics annually is just not enough for them. So, to placate these GOP industry stooges, Obama threw them the severed head of his EPA chief, Sheila Jackson, pushing her to resign.

Here’s a real life-saving proposal: Rather than spy on gun buyers, the FBI should do background checks on Congressmen – and if they have a history of taking donations from polluters, ban them from voting on life-and-death laws.

According to Senator Dianne Feinstein, assault weapons kill 43 people a year. That works out to a rate of 0.9 per 100,000 weapons. By comparison, there are 3.5 per 100,000 on-the-job deaths. In other words, having a job is four times more deadly than having a machine gun.

The National Rifle Association likes to use statistics like these cynically. (“Hey, bullets are safer than golf balls.”)

But I calculated these stats for another reason: Why AREN’T we talking about workers killed by their jobs? It’s a rolling massacre; Newtown times 2,000. In other words, why isn’t our media – why isn’t our President – talking about what’s really killing us and WHO is killing us?

On January 2, 2006, an explosion at the Sago Mine in West Virginia killed 12 miners. The communications lines required by law that might have saved them were missing. The mine is owned by International Coal Group. ICG is controlled by a hedge fund, which, in turn, is controlled by billionaire Wilbur Ross. I’ve worked with Wilbur. Nice guy. His wives are nicer. At least, every time I open Hampton’s Magazine, the latest one always looks blonder and younger.

Wilbur felt just terrible about his dead miners, so he went on TV and asked the American public to send donations to help their families. He didn’t say whether to send your money to his beach home in the Hamptons, to the one in Palm Beach or to his condo in Manhattan.

When we talk about guns control, we are talking about Them and Us. The point of gun laws is to protect the Newtowns and the Wilbur Rosses from what I’d call the renegade Armed Wing of the lower classes.

But what is there to protect the working class from the Wilbur Rosses? Maybe we could reduce the massacres caused by profit maximisation by issuing billionaires and corporations a strictly limited number of employee hunting licenses.

If some berserker is caught putting lead bullets in his pistol, he gets jail time; a corporation dumps lead poison into your water supply and gets a tax break.

If we really want to save the lives of the innocent, let’s skip the distracting chit-chat about ammo clips and grenade launchers. Rather than gun control, I think it’s time to talk about the entire American death-machine -- from desert wars to class wars; a death machine owned and operated by an elite that is out of control.

Alex Jones is the radio host who flamed Piers Morgan on prime-time TV over gun laws and the Bill of Rights. To Jones and his audience in the American heartland, arming themselves is their defensive reaction to a system that brutalises and tyrannises them. Obama got close when he said that the victims of systemic, unending unemployment, “get bitter, [and so] they cling to guns”.

But rather than bring back their jobs, the President has chosen to grab their guns.

Just this month, the Pope of Hope joined hands with Republicans to raise the regressive Social Security payroll tax by 50 percent, costing a typical working family $1,000 (£630) a year. The sum is devastating in most homes, and an assault on the economy, an “anti-stimulus” that economists agree will cost 400,000 jobs.

The power elite has dumped America (and most of Europe) into an economic Guantanamo and told us to fill out job applications with an eraser.

So Alex Jones says don’t “cling” to your guns, get them ready. With our jobs and freedoms swindled and swiped, he says, only the weapon in our hand saves us from naked tyranny. (At least Alex doesn’t peddle the NRA baloney that assault weapons are for “sport”.)

Certainly, Hitler paused rather than take on the weaponised Swiss in the Alps. And in Venezuela, after a group of oil company executives and media barons literally kidnapped the President, an armed citizenry rose up and restored their elected leader. Oddly, Jones said that Chavez took away the public’s guns. In fact, Alex, Chavez handed out thousands of rifles to “well-organised militias”, which guarantee Venezuela’s democracy against another violent corporate coup d’état. (See my film: The Assassination of Hugo Chavez.)

But America isn’t Switzerland and it sure as hell isn’t Venezuela. Because here in the US, as in Europe, the war against economic aristocrats and autocrats has already been lost. The occupation of Main Street by Wall Street is complete.

After all, Alex, in 2000, it was you who brought to America my BBC report that George W Bush had stolen the presidential election. Yet, no one picked up a gun to fight Bush’s corporate junta when they ransacked our treasuries and erased our Bill of Rights. Instead, Americans took up arms to march, at Bush’s command, into Iraq.

And that’s why, in the end, they’re not going to kick in your door and take your guns. They don’t need them. You’ve already surrendered your jobs to Mexico, your Social Security to the finance sharks and your Bill of Rights to the War on Terror, all without firing a shot.

So they’ll let you keep your rifle, your toy, your little rattle. You’re no threat to these guys. They know it and you know it.

Unless...

We take heed of the words of John F Kennedy that, “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable.”

Want to end the slaughter? Let’s not debate gun control.

Let’s talk about a revolution.

Follow Greg on Twitter: @Greg_Palast

Alex Jones Versus Downton Abbey

Greg Palast for Vice Magazine
Friday, January 18, 2013

Greg Palast is a New York Times bestselling author and fearless investigative journalist whose reports appear on BBC Television Newsnight and in The Guardian. Palast eats the rich and spits them out. Catch his reports and films at www.GregPalast.com, where you can also securely send him your documents marked, "confidential".

This is the first of Palast's weekly columns for VICE – beginning with a bang: a four-part series on Alex Jones, guns, Piers Morgan and Palast's penis.

Alex Jones is right. Deport Piers Morgan. NOW. Send him back. In chains.

But not because Piers doesn’t believe in the Second Amendment to the US Constitution. (I mean, really, who gives a shit what Piers Morgan believes?) Piers Morgan should be turned over to Scotland Yard forthwith because he’s a criminal. And because of what he said about my penis, which we'll get to later.

This year's big YouTube hit so far – excluding the video of the guy sucking an umbrella out of his dog’s anus – is the footage of Alex Jones stuffing a figurative umbrella up Piers Morgan.

It shows Alex Jones – the host of one of the only intellectually substantive, fact-heavy forums on American radio – going nuclear on prime time. In notably high decibels, Alex was trying to explain to Piers why America has a Bill of Rights while England has David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Paul McCartney.

Before I enumerate the charges against Morgan, we need to ask two questions. Why did Alex Jones seem to lose it on air? And why is it so important to the media elite to ridicule him and dismiss him as a fruitcake and a buffoon – just another scary, Texan gun-nut – while they venerate Pus Moron – the scoundrel, the faker, the wanker – like he’s Thomas Jefferson?

What was really behind Alex’s freak-out?

The yell from Alex’s throat was not his own voice alone – it was the choric cry of his millions of listeners in the forgotten heartland of America. It was the scream of the screwed.

It’s not about guns. The shoot-out between Jones, rough-voiced and real, versus Morgan, faux journalist with the snooty accent, is a metaphoric battle. The movers and shakers on Morgan’s guest list versus the moved and shaken across the Great Plains who listen to Jones; the privileged 1 Percent versus Jones’ 99 Percenters; those who got the gold mine versus those who got the shaft.

It’s about the comfortable in Manhattan, West Hollywood and Islington who watch Downton Abbey and dream of the days when the servants were grateful just to shine their masters’ silver. Jones speaks for the lower decks on the Titanic – those under the waterline, who know that the ship has hit the iceberg while the rich are cramming bottles of champagne into the last life boats.

Of the 31,672 gun deaths in America in 2010, the majority – 61 percent – were suicides. The real killer is despair. Why such desperation? What in the American dream is so nightmarish that death is a better choice?

Jones’ fierce journalism talks to those waiting in the dark.

Their jobs have been taken to China, their homes to foreclosures, their pensions to bank accounts in the Cayman Islands, their freedoms to Guantanamo – so, they’ll be goddamned if they’ll let you take their guns.

Some don’t know where to turn, so they attack blacks and Jews and immigrants. Jones tells his audience not to get distracted by these false targets; the “false flags that the New World Order uses” to keep guns pointed the wrong way. (For that, he’s been blasted as a “Zionist shill” by Real Jew News.)

The true issue – the danger – Jones says, is not from our assault rifles, but from the assault on working people in Greece and in Manchester and in Toledo by a dangerous group of jackals whose weapons are the IMF, the Euro, JP Morgan, “austerity” and the “debt ceiling”.

I love Alex Jones. If I were a woman, I’d appear on his show in my highest heels and shortest mini-skirt.

Journalistically, Jones has iron balls.

Example: In Britain, BBC Television Newsnight and The Guardian splashed a report of mine on finance vultures. These speculators effectively seized the money given by the US and Europe to Africa to end cholera and AIDS epidemics.

Billionaire Paul Singer, the big Republican donor, the vulture who savaged the Congo (and Mitt Romney’s business partner) had one of his stooges call the BBC to spike our story: “We have a file on Greg Palast.” Some of it, apparently, fabricated by Piers Morgan.

While the BBC ran the story regardless of the threat, my investigations of Singer, despite gaining the cover of Nation, were suddenly pulled from US airwaves, including Piers' CNN. A major news service said it was spiked not by editors, but by "high up". Even MSNBC said, coyly, that the story was “too complex for our viewers”.

But not Jones’ audience. “This is complex,” Jones told me, “so we’ll give you a full hour to explain it.” Which is part of the reason Alex is such a hero in the US – he has the cojones to venture where the mainstream media fear to tread.

Look, I don’t agree with a whole lot of Alex’ opinions and theories, and Lord knows he doesn’t agree with mine. But whenever I have the facts, he wants them. And he’s not afraid to take his listeners deep into the twisted matrix of flim-flams in the market for Greek credit default swaps or into the murky waters of IMF privatisation schemes in Latin America.

And Piers’ “news” show? His dream guest, he said, would be Lindsay Lohan. Rejected by Lindsay, he settled on discussing the great issues of the day with Kim Kardashian.

Coming up:
Part Two – Deport Piers Morgan: Slimes and Crimes
Part Three – Assault Gun Ban: Weapon of Mass Distraction
Part Four – Piers and my Penis

Palast is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Billionaires & Ballot Bandits: How to Steal an Election in 9 Easy Steps, The Best Democracy Money Can Buy, Armed Madhouse and the highly acclaimed Vultures' Picnic, named Book of the Year 2012 on BBC Newsnight Review.

Excerpt: 'Captain Underpants'

January 14, 2013
http://www.npr.org/books/titles/169328255/captain-underpants-and-the-revolting-revenge-of-the-radioactive-robo-boxers?tab=excerpt

CHAPTER 12

CALLING ALL CAVEMEN

"How are we ever going to get out of THIS mess?" asked Harold.

"I don't know," said George. "But we're going to need Tippy Tinkletrousers if we ever want to get back home!"

"Are you kidding?" said Harold. "We can't trust that guy! He can't even trust himself!"

"I know," said George. "But Tippy has a time machine, and we don't. So we're going to have to defeat him!"

"But we'd need an army to defeat that guy," said Harold.

"So let's go get an army," said George.

The four friends glided above the grassy plains as they followed the sounds of beating drums. Soon, they arrived at the forest.

The drumming was getting louder. Crackers swooped down and landed behind some bushes near the caves. Just beyond them was the cavepeople village.

George and Harold and Crackers and Sulu peeked over the thick bushes as they watched the cavemen and cavewomen go about their daily routines. They seemed peaceful, so George decided to speak up.

"Hello!" said George. "We come in peace! We are friends!" The cavepeople looked confused and startled. They did not seem to understand.

"Maybe they don't speak English," said Harold.

"Ellohay!" said George (who only spoke one other language). "Eway omecay inway eacepay! Eway areway iendsfray!"

That didn't work either.

The cavepeople grunted and sniffed at George and Harold and their pets. But they said nothing. Suddenly, off in the distance, the sounds of gigantic footsteps came thundering through the deep forest. Tippy was coming, and he was getting closer and closer with each terrifying stomp.

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THAT VILLAGE!" Tippy screamed. "But you can't hide from ME!!!"

Tippy crashed through the trees and stomped into the village, kicking over huts and smooshing everything in sight. The terrified cavepeople grabbed their children and ran for the safety of the caves behind their village. George and Harold and Crackers and Sulu ran into the caves also, and hid with the cavepeople in the darkness as the destruction outside continued.

After a while, some caveteenagers started a campfire. The flickering light illuminated the massive walls of the caves as the cavepeople whimpered and huddled together in horror. "Wow!" said George. "Some army they turned out to be!"

"It's not their fault," said Harold. "They've never seen giant Robo-Pants before. They're just scared!"

"If we could only communicate with them," said George. "There's gotta be some way to reach them!"

Harold looked up at the giant, blank walls of the cave. "How about pictures?" he asked. "Hey! Good idea," said George.

Harold walked over to the campfire and grabbed a charred, smoking stick from the burning cinders. Then he went to one side of the giant cave and started to create the world's first cave drawing.

At first, the cavepeople were astonished. They had never seen anybody draw before. They laughed and pointed and jumped up and down every time Harold drew something new.

But when Harold drew Tippy and his Robo-Pants, the cavepeople became frightened. They grunted nervously and lowered their heads in fear and submission.

"Wow," said Harold. "How are we ever gonna change their minds about Tippy?" "I know," said George. "Let's make a wordless comic! They'll understand that!" "Good idea!" said Harold. "Let's do it!" So George and Harold found a ladder and began creating the world's very first comic.

The cavepeople watched with excitement as George and Harold's tale unfolded. Soon, their opinions about Tippy and his Robo-Pants began to evolve.

CHAPTER 12

CALLING ALL CAVEMEN

"How are we ever going to get out of THIS mess?" asked Harold.

"I don't know," said George. "But we're going to need Tippy Tinkletrousers if we ever want to get back home!"

"Are you kidding?" said Harold. "We can't trust that guy! He can't even trust himself!"

"I know," said George. "But Tippy has a time machine, and we don't. So we're going to have to defeat him!"

"But we'd need an army to defeat that guy," said Harold.

"So let's go get an army," said George.

The four friends glided above the grassy plains as they followed the sounds of beating drums. Soon, they arrived at the forest.

The drumming was getting louder. Crackers swooped down and landed behind some bushes near the caves. Just beyond them was the cavepeople village.

George and Harold and Crackers and Sulu peeked over the thick bushes as they watched the cavemen and cavewomen go about their daily routines. They seemed peaceful, so George decided to speak up.

"Hello!" said George. "We come in peace! We are friends!" The cavepeople looked confused and startled. They did not seem to understand.

"Maybe they don't speak English," said Harold.

"Ellohay!" said George (who only spoke one other language). "Eway omecay inway eacepay! Eway areway iendsfray!"

That didn't work either.

The cavepeople grunted and sniffed at

George and Harold and their pets. But they said nothing. Suddenly, off in the distance, the sounds of gigantic footsteps came thundering through the deep forest. Tippy was coming, and he was getting closer and closer with each terrifying stomp.

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THAT VILLAGE!" Tippy screamed. "But you can't hide from ME!!!"

Tippy crashed through the trees and stomped into the village, kicking over huts and smooshing everything in sight. The terrified cavepeople grabbed their children and ran for the safety of the caves behind their village. George and Harold and Crackers and Sulu ran into the caves also, and hid with the cavepeople in the darkness as the destruction outside continued.

After a while, some caveteenagers started a campfire. The flickering light illuminated the massive walls of the caves as the cavepeople whimpered and huddled together in horror. "Wow!" said George. "Some army they turned out to be!"

"It's not their fault," said Harold. "They've never seen giant Robo-Pants before. They're just scared!"

"If we could only communicate with them," said George. "There's gotta be some way to reach them!"

Harold looked up at the giant, blank walls of the cave. "How about pictures?" he asked. "Hey! Good idea," said George.

Harold walked over to the campfire and grabbed a charred, smoking stick from the burning cinders. Then he went to one side of the giant cave and started to create the world's first cave drawing.

At first, the cavepeople were astonished. They had never seen anybody draw before. They laughed and pointed and jumped up and down every time Harold drew something new.

But when Harold drew Tippy and his Robo-Pants, the cavepeople became frightened. They grunted nervously and lowered their heads in fear and submission.

"Wow," said Harold. "How are we ever gonna change their minds about Tippy?" "I know," said George. "Let's make a

wordless comic! They'll understand that!" "Good idea!" said Harold. "Let's do it!" So George and Harold found a ladder and

began creating the world's very first comic.

The cavepeople watched with excitement as George and Harold's tale unfolded. Soon, their opinions about Tippy and his Robo-Pants began to evolve.

From Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers, by Dav Pilkey. Copyright 2013 by Dav Pilkey. Reproduced with permission from Scholastic.

Captain Underpants Is Back!

Hold On To Your Tighty Whities, Captain Underpants Is Back!
ELIZABETH BLAIR
January 15, 2013
http://www.npr.org/2013/01/15/169326364/hold-on-to-your-tighty-whities-captain-underpants-is-back

Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers
by Dav Pilkey
Hardcover, 214 pages

Let's face it. When you're a kid, sometimes adults can be a real drag. The new Captain Underpants book puts it this way: "Did you ever notice how grown-ups hate it when kids are having fun?"

Dav Pilkey's Captain Underpants books are all about kids who get in trouble for having mischievous fun. With potty humor, wacky illustrations, and names like Tippy Tinkletrousers and Professor Poopypants, small wonder the books are hugely popular. Every book in the series has made it to USA Today's best-seller list. The folks at Scholastic are counting on the new one — Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers — to do just as well.

At the Robert E. Smith Library in New Orleans, 8-year-old Aidan Caliva says he loves the silliness of Captain Underpants. One of his favorites is Captain Underpants and the Big, Bad Battle of the Bionic Booger Boy. In that one, protagonists George Beard and Harold Hutchins get busted for leaving ketchup packets under the toilet seat in a prank they call "Squishy."

Sundiata Haley, 7, thinks the title of his favorite Captain Underpants book is too long — Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space (and the Subsequent Assault of the Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds). But he's clearly tickled when he reads Captain Underpants' battle cry, "I am here to fight for truth, justice and all that is pre-shrunk and cottony."

Author Dav Pilkey even talks smack about grown-ups. In the new Captain Underpants book, he writes: "If you're like most kids you're probably reading this book because some adult wanted you to stop playing video games or watching TV." Pilkey says that when he writes for kids, "it's really an 'us and them' type of situation. It's like me and the kids versus the grown-ups."

Pilkey says there's a lot of him in the Captain Underpants series. He says he remembers what it was like to be a kid who got in trouble for his pranks. He also remembers what it was like to be a struggling reader. "I remember every kid in the class would have to stand up and read a chapter from our history book or something. And whenever it was my turn, everyone would just kind of groan, like 'Ugh, Pilkey's reading again.' And it just took me so long to get through it. I had all these really negative associations with reading. I just hated it," he says.

So he wanted to make a children's book that even kids like him would find irresistible. But some grown-ups, true to form, think it's inappropriate for the heroes of a children's book to be such troublemakers. George and Harold are big-time pranksters. They draw a comic strip in which they turn their mean principal into the superhero Captain Underpants who wears nothing but a red cape and underwear. This, and other bad-boy behavior, has landed Captain Underpants on the American Library Association's "Hit List," the annual top 10 list of most-complained about books. Pat Scales, chair of the ALA's Intellectual Freedom Committee, says, "The No. 1 complaint is — this is kind of funny — nudity. I guess because the superhero has on jockey shorts. [Also] vulgar language, and they feel that kids are being taught not to obey authority."

In the books, the principal hates George and Harold's comic strip. Some parents have problems with it too, not for the content, but for all the misspellings. "Laugh" is spelled "laff." "Trouble" is spelled "trubbel." Rex Exnicios, 7, from New Orleans says that really bugs his mom. "She gets really mad ... She just says, 'That's misspelled,' and then says, 'This is how you actually spell it,' and then she spells it," he says.

Scales says Exnicios' mom is on the right track. Scales — who's a big fan of Captain Underpants — wants grown-ups to take it a step further and use George and Harold's mistakes as an opportunity to teach kids about literature. "What I would ask kids is, 'How does this represent the character of the two boys?' and 'What kind of students do you think they are?' And then you take it a step further," she says, "and have the kids write it out properly and say, 'How does this change the tone ... and how does this change the humor of the book?' "

Eventually, kids figure out how to spell the words correctly, says Scales. That's what happened to Titus Adkins from Brooklyn. He's a senior in high school. He says that when he was little, the Captain Underpants books were the only ones he liked. They were also the jumping-off point to more books. "I started reading Chronicles of Narnia when I was in second grade because of Captain Underpants," says Adkins. "It was because it was a book my mom told me to read. She said it was sort of like Captain Underpants. She kind of lied to me to get me to read it."

A trick that could've come straight out of Captain Underpants. Adkins says he got hooked on the Narnia books, too.

Long lines at polls caused 49,000 not to vote

David Damron and Scott Powers, Orlando Sentinel
December 29, 2012
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/politics/os-discouraged-voters-20121229,0,215136.story

After working a 10-hour shift on Election Day, painter Richard Jordan headed to his east Orange County polling place at about 4:30 p.m. Based on more than a decade of voting, he expected to be in and out in minutes.

Three hours later, Jordan's back ached, he was hungry, thirsty — and nowhere near a voting booth. So he left. As it turned out, his Goldenrod Road precinct didn't close until 11 p.m.

"The line just wasn't moving," said the 42-year-old Democrat, who added that he now regrets not voting. "It was so depressing."

Like Jordan, as many as 49,000 people across Central Florida were discouraged from voting because of long lines on Election Day, according to a researcher at Ohio State University who analyzed election data compiled by the Orlando Sentinel.

About 30,000 of those discouraged voters — most of them in Orange and Osceola counties — likely would have backed Democratic President Barack Obama, according to Theodore Allen, an associate professor of industrial engineering at OSU.

About 19,000 voters would have likely backed Republican Mitt Romney, Allen said.

This suggests that Obama's margin over Romney in Florida could have been roughly 11,000 votes higher than it was, based just on Central Florida results. Obama carried the state by 74,309 votes out of more than 8.4 million cast.

Allen's first analysis of the impact of long lines at the polls was done in 2004, when he estimated that more than 20,000 voters in Franklin County, Ohio, where Ohio State is located, were discouraged from casting ballots in the razor-close contest between President George W. Bush and Democrat John Kerry. He has continued his research in every election since.

His analysis of Central Florida results compared precinct closing times, Election Day turnout and results in the presidential race — which attracted the highest vote totals of any race on the ballot — for all Lake, Orange, Osceola and Seminole county precincts.

His review indicated that for every additional hour that a precinct stayed open past 7 p.m. — a good indicator of line length throughout the day — turnout dropped by as much as 4.8 percent. The precincts with the longest lines, he found, had some of the lowest turnouts, a fact he attributed mostly to a record-long ballot that, in Orange County, ran to six pages.

As Allen put it in a report to the Sentinel: "Without understanding the importance of ballot length as a variable, it would be surprising to see from the data from 2012 in Central Florida that lower turnout was recorded in the locations with the longest waits. This is because longer ballots (not higher turnout) likely caused the longer lines which, in turn, suppressed the turnout."

Florida's long lines and late results have drawn unfavorable comparisons to the Sunshine State's 2000 presidential election problems, and state and federal lawmakers are pledging again to address it.

"Look, people are frustrated in our state," Gov. Rick Scott said recently on CNN. "Some of our counties, we have very long lines. You know, we've got to restore confidence in our election."

A previous Sentinel analysis of precinct-closing times and demographic data found that thousands of Central Florida voters waited in line at their polling places for three or more hours — some as long as five hours — after the 7 p.m. official closing time. Even longer waits were reported around the state.

There were few long lines in Lake and Seminole counties. But in Orange and Osceola, where lines were longest and voting ran latest, precincts with high percentages of Hispanic voters were most likely to be open late, the previous Sentinel analysis found. Allen's findings mirror that, he said.

Allen said that his Ohio analyses found that both Hispanics and blacks were disproportionately more deterred because of the longer lines in their communities. However, few black Central Florida precincts stayed open late.

Elections officials blame the lines on several factors, from a ballot that included 11 constitutional amendments to fewer early-voting days and an outsized turnout of 67 percent or more in all four counties. But there are also indications that new state rules about address changes and the ballot layout in Orange County were factors.

Allen suggested that expanding early-voting and mail-in ballot options and steering more machines and resources to communities with longer ballots could ease long lines. Even enabling people to preview ballots while they stand in line would save time in the voting booth, he said.

"A $100 poster could be worth two voting machines," Allen said.

Democratic activists such as Orlando's David Rucker said he saw a fierce devotion among voters to weather long lines to counter efforts by Republicans to limit early voting.

"They had to stay in those lines," Rucker said.

But many Central Florida voters faced unyielding work schedules, child-care issues or other demands. They could not wait out lines that sometimes stretched around blocks.

Carol Dishong went to her east Orange County precinct at 7:30 a.m. on Election Day, saw a long line and no empty parking spaces, and decided to come back after work. But the Republican loan underwriter and single mom said it was even worse when she returned. Next time, she said, she'll vote early or absentee.

"My days are full as it is," Dishong said.

Check your optimism

Before progressives get swept up in Obama fervor -- again -- some sober reminders about promises and "name-calling"
DAVID SIROTA
http://www.salon.com/2013/01/22/check_your_optimism/

In an inaugural speech stringing together the most tried, true and poll-tested applause lines, none was as appropriate yet also dissonant as President Obama’s assertion that America should not “treat name-calling as reasoned debate.”

On the appropriate side of the ledger, that line could be seen as a justifiable riposte to an Angry Right-Wing Hate Machine that relies on – and makes its money from – the business of slur. Indeed, epithets like “socialist,” “fascist,” “Hitler,” “Magical Negro,” and “monkey” (among others) are now part of the conservative movement’s day-to-day vernacular in making its case against the current White House occupant, ginning up popular anger and raising money for the conservative media machine.

However, after a speech that resurrected the themes he ran on in 2008 by rhetorically celebrating a progressive agenda, the president’s rejoinder against “name calling” seems to contradict his own deportment, considering how often his administration employs such name calling to berate the progressive movement.

It was, for instance, Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, who berated liberals as “fucking retarded” for daring to try to press congressional Democrats to back the health care promises Obama himself made.
It was Obama who deployed his official spokesman to tell reporters that liberals working to hold the president to his campaign promises “ought to be drug tested” because they are “crazy.”

It was Obama’s reelection campaign that sent out an email slamming Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman as a “political rookie” and hammering liberal health care activists as the “Firebagger Lefty blogosphere.”

It was a “Democrat close to Obama” who used an interview with Politico to castigate LGBT activists as “naive” for daring to push the president to support basic equality under the law.

It was an Obama adviser who denigrated liberals as the “internet left fringe” and who implored progressives “to take off their pajamas” just because they expected the president to actually advocate for the policies he promised to during his election campaign.

It was a “senior Obama adviser” who labeled those supporting a public health-care merely “the left of the left.”

It was an anonymous confidante of Obama’s national security adviser who slammed civil libertarians questioning the president’s extra-judicial drone war as “Cheeto-eating people in the basement working in their underwear.”

The list goes on and on – these are just a representative sample of a White House that often seems as eager to utilize obnoxious fact-free invective against progressives as the Angry Right-Wing Hate Machine. That invective may be a bit less harsh and offensive, but it is still exactly the kind of “name calling” the president deplored in his speech.

But, then, perhaps that is the real meaning of Obama’s applause line about “name calling”. Perhaps it was both a justifiable and easy-to-understand “fuck you” to the right and also a more subtle pledge to the millions of liberals and progressives who put him in the White House. Perhaps, in short, it was a president who has previously asked citizens to “hold me accountable” now pledging to strike a wholly different and more constructive posture toward those progressives who do just that.

That may be wishful thinking. But on an inauguration day that quadrennially begs us to feel some twinge of aspirational optimism, that should be least we can hope for from a man whose original vision was about far bigger hopes and dreams.

David Sirota is a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, magazine journalist and the best-selling author of the books "Hostile Takeover," "The Uprising" and "Back to Our Future." E-mail him at ds@davidsirota.com, follow him on Twitter @davidsirota or visit his website at www.davidsirota.com.

CIA Emails Reveal Winners and Losers

CIA Emails Reveal Winners and Losers of National Security Access
Full Article:
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/politics/2012/08/cia-emails-reveal-winners-and-losers-national-security-access/56297/

Excerpt:

For everyone who didn't get special access to information about the Osama bin Laden raid, today was a little bit discouraging as new e-mails revealed CIA officials gushing over Hollywood filmakers at the expense of trained reporters and documentarians.

The filmmakers given top notch access have been known for months: Director Kathryn Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal, the team behind the Oscar-winning film The Hurt Locker and the upcoming film on the mission to kill bin Laden Zero Dark Thirty. But we never got to see who was vying with them for access to details on the bin Laden raid, a group that includes former New York Times reporter Howard Blum, the History Channel and The BBC. Typically, details about deliberations over who wins and who loses in the competitive game of CIA access remains a secret, but thanks to a Freedom of Information Act request by the conservative legal group Judicial Watch, those conversations became public today.

From the outset, CIA, White House, and Pentagon officials began discussing the various Osama bin Laden projects with a slight degree of favoritism toward Bigelow and Boal's film. But pretty quickly the Oscar-winning pair blew away the competition and a highly-cordial subject-filmmaker relationship ensued.

Naomi Wolf Notes:

The Mark Boal/Kathryn Bigelow post is a propos. Am I the only one who is noticing that, if the Senate investigation finds that Boal and Bigelow were given classified info -- and I can tell you from my own interviews with the detainees' lawyers, the torture methods of detainees are CLASSIFIED -- then they are potentially guilty of exactly what Assange and Manning are accused of? In other words, if Assange is unable to leave the Ecuadorean embassy -- because he disclosed classified information -- and Manning is in solitary, stripped naked and denied his glasses -- because he released classified information -- then why are Bigelow and Boal -- if they disclosed classified information -- not facing the same threats of prosecution? Conversely, if we are being consistent (and of course best to NOT prosecute people for this 'crime', which was not prosecuted for decades before Obama went crazy with prosecutions) we keep Bigelow and Boal -- and Assange and Manning -- out of jail/away from threats of prosecution.

If classified info turns out to have been involved, then there is no real legal difference between Zero Dark Thirty and Wikileaks -- especially if the filmmakers keep insisting on 'authenticity' and 'true events'.

Unless the only difference between who is in prison in solitary, and who gets to go in nice clothes to film screenings, is whether the classified info exposes the US government to criticism, or else flatters its narrative.

The Conspiracy Denier

Mack White

Dr. Sneed Hearne, Professor Emeritus of Political Psychiatry at St. Cheerios College, has long studied the strange mentality of the Conspiracy Denier.

“What it comes down to,” he says, gesturing with his pipe, “is a curious inability on the part of the Conspiracy Denier to believe anything but the Official Version. The ‘Denier,’ you see, looks around at a world he cannot understand and takes comfort in the mistaken notion that everything happens by chaos or coincidence; thus he denies the painful reality that powerful men really do meet in secret to plan crimes that would further their secret agendas.

“The ‘Denier’ prides himself on being a ‘skeptic,’ but oddly is never skeptical of the government or mainstream media, who time and again have been caught in the most outlandish lies. Common sense will not work on him, and even when presented with documentary evidence or mainstream news reports that contradict the official version, this sad individual continues to cling obstinately to the bizarre notion that conspiracies never occur …

“You might say that ‘Deniers’ are like ostriches with their heads stuck in the sand. True, the other ostriches — i.e., those who do not have their heads stuck in the sand — might eventually be killed as well, but at least those ostriches can see the Police State that’s coming and stand a chance (however small) of escaping if they can run fast enough.”

"The gun is the only thing that will free us..."

"The gun is the only thing that will free us — gain us our liberation.”

So said The Black Panthers, a group who had a more consistent and passionate defense of Second Amendment gun rights than the GOP or NRA ever have:

Inspired by the teachings of Malcolm X, Newton and Seale decided to fight back. Before he was assassinated in 1965, Malcolm X had preached against Martin Luther King Jr.’s brand of nonviolent resistance. Because the government was “either unable or unwilling to protect the lives and property” of blacks, he said, they had to defend themselves “by whatever means necessary.” Malcolm X illustrated the idea for Ebony magazine by posing for photographs in suit and tie, peering out a window with an M-1 carbine semiautomatic in hand. Malcolm X and the Panthers described their right to use guns in self-defense in constitutional terms. “Article number two of the constitutional amendments,” Malcolm X argued, “provides you and me the right to own a rifle or a shotgun.”

Guns became central to the Panthers’ identity, as they taught their early recruits that “the gun is the only thing that will free us — gain us our liberation.” They bought some of their first guns with earnings from selling copies of Mao Zedong’s Little Red Book to students at the University of California at Berkeley. In time, the Panther arsenal included machine guns; an assortment of rifles, handguns, explosives, and grenade launchers; and “boxes and boxes of ammunition,” recalled Elaine Brown, one of the party’s first female members, in her 1992 memoir. Some of this matériel came from the federal government: one member claimed he had connections at Camp Pendleton, in Southern California, who would sell the Panthers anything for the right price. One Panther bragged that, if they wanted, they could have bought an M48 tank and driven it right up the freeway.

Along with providing classes on black nationalism and socialism, Newton made sure recruits learned how to clean, handle, and shoot guns. Their instructors were sympathetic black veterans, recently home from Vietnam. For their “righteous revolutionary struggle,” the Panthers were trained, as well as armed, however indirectly, by the U.S. government.

Civil-rights activists, even those committed to nonviolent resistance, had long appreciated the value of guns for self-protection. Martin Luther King Jr. applied for a permit to carry a concealed firearm in 1956, after his house was bombed. His application was denied, but from then on, armed supporters guarded his home. One adviser, Glenn Smiley, described the King home as “an arsenal.” William Worthy, a black reporter who covered the civil-rights movement, almost sat on a loaded gun in a living-room armchair during a visit to King’s parsonage.

The Panthers, however, took it to an extreme, carrying their guns in public, displaying them for everyone—especially the police—to see. Newton had discovered, during classes at San Francisco Law School, that California law allowed people to carry guns in public so long as they were visible, and not pointed at anyone in a threatening way.

In February of 1967, Oakland police officers stopped a car carrying Newton, Seale, and several other Panthers with rifles and handguns. When one officer asked to see one of the guns, Newton refused. “I don’t have to give you anything but my identification, name, and address,” he insisted. This, too, he had learned in law school.

“Who in the hell do you think you are?” an officer responded.

“Who in the hell do you think you are?,” Newton replied indignantly. He told the officer that he and his friends had a legal right to have their firearms.

Newton got out of the car, still holding his rifle.

“What are you going to do with that gun?” asked one of the stunned policemen.

“What are you going to do with your gun?,” Newton replied.

By this time, the scene had drawn a crowd of onlookers. An officer told the bystanders to move on, but Newton shouted at them to stay. California law, he yelled, gave civilians a right to observe a police officer making an arrest, so long as they didn’t interfere. Newton played it up for the crowd. In a loud voice, he told the police officers, “If you try to shoot at me or if you try to take this gun, I’m going to shoot back at you, swine.” Although normally a black man with Newton’s attitude would quickly find himself handcuffed in the back of a police car, enough people had gathered on the street to discourage the officers from doing anything rash. Because they hadn’t committed any crime, the Panthers were allowed to go on their way.

The people who’d witnessed the scene were dumbstruck. Not even Bobby Seale could believe it. Right then, he said, he knew that Newton was the “baddest motherfucker in the world.” Newton’s message was clear: “The gun is where it’s at and about and in.” After the February incident, the Panthers began a regular practice of policing the police. Thanks to an army of new recruits inspired to join up when they heard about Newton’s bravado, groups of armed Panthers would drive around following police cars. When the police stopped a black person, the Panthers would stand off to the side and shout out legal advice.

To read the full article:

The Secret History of Guns
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/09/the-secret-history-of-guns/308608

Demand justice for Aaron

Support "Aaron's Law" and inquiry into his prosecution
http://act.demandprogress.org/sign/aaron_justice

Robalini's Note: Some people wonder if Swartz's death was really a murder and not just a suicide.  In the end, it's a pretty minute distinction.  Either way, the primal cause of his death was the over-the-top harrassment of him by the DOJ due to opposition of White House hit lists and his defense of free speech against korporate power.  By suicide or "suicide" the death of Swartz has the fingerprints of the US establishment (including Barack Obama) all over the place...

LETTER ISSUED BY DEMAND PROGRESS AND HARVARD LAW PROFESSOR LAWRENCE LESSIG:

We spent Tuesday burying and mourning our friend Aaron. We're sad, we're tired, we're frustrated -- and we're angry at a system that let this happen to Aaron.  Now we want to set upon honoring his life's work and helping to make sure that such a travesty is never repeated.

We and Aaron's friends and family have been in touch with lawmakers to ask for help, and several of them -- who've worked with Aaron and Demand Progress on SOPA and other issues -- are beginning to take action.  We're asking them to help rein in a criminal justice system run amok. Authorities are encouraged to bring frivolous charges and hold decades of jail time over the heads of people who are accused of committing victimless crimes.

1) Representative Zoe Lofgren has introduced what's been named  "Aaron's Law."  It would fix a key part of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (CFAA), which is one of the statutes under which Aaron was indicted.  We need to pass Aaron's Law AND further amend the CFAA.

The CFAA makes violations of a website's terms of service agreement or user agreement -- that fine print you never read before you check the box next to it -- a FELONY, potentially punishable by many years in prison.  That's how over-broad this dangerous statute is, and one way it lets showboating prosecutors file charges against people who've done nothing wrong.

Aaron's Law would decriminalize violating these agreements: They're essentially contracts, and as with other contracts, disputes about them should be settled in civil courts rather than in out of control criminal trials under threat of decades of prison time.As currently written, Aaron's Law alone wouldn't have saved Aaron -- there is still more to do to make sure that victimless computer activities are not charged as felonies -- but this is a solid start that we can pass now and it's a law he wanted to change.  Then we'll keep pushing forward.

2) Additionally, we asked Congressman Darrell Issa -- who controls the powerful Oversight Committee -- to open an investigation into prosecutorial misconduct in Aaron's case. Amazingly, he's already responded and is dispatching a staffer to investigate the U.S. Attorney who was pressing charges against Aaron.

We want the inquiry to proceed, and to be broadened to include a more thorough investigation into rampant over-prosecution of alleged crimes with no victims -- as in the case of what Aaron was accused of.  And we want those who abused their power to be held to account.

We loved Aaron -- so many people loved Aaron -- and his death is tragic.  We and others who were close to him are overwhelmed by the outpouring of support, and the calls for justice.  Thank you for joining us in that fight.