Monday, July 23, 2007

Bush butt probed, Cheney in charge

Friday, 20 July 2007
Bush butt probed, Cheney in charge
By Staff

(AXcess News) Washington - A shudder could be felt across Capitol Hill Friday after news came out that President Bush would be having his butt checked out which meant that while Bush was going through the colonoscopy, Vice President Dick Cheney would be in charge of the nation.

"It's a chilling thought," one passerby told AXcess News when asked if they were concerned over Cheney's short-term rule of the White House. Press Secretary Tony Snow told reporters this morning that President Bush would be going to Camp David, MD where doctors were going to perform what Snow termed a "routine examination" of the President's posterior.

Bush last underwent colorectal cancer surveillance on June 29, 2002. At the time, the only thing doctors found was an attitude, which medical experts say is not cancerous though his administration has become quite malignant in their support of the President's plan to keep U.S. troops in Iraq.

"Absent any symptoms, the president's doctor recommended repeat surveillance in approximately five years," Snow said. "The president has had no symptoms."

Snow was referring to President Bush not having any symptoms of colon cancer - not Democratic liberalism which is a different form of pain in the rear for the two-term Republican President.

Putting political humor aside, two polyps were discovered during Bush's examinations in 1998 and 1999 while G.W. was governor of Texas. That made Bush a prime candidate for regular examinations. For the general population, a colonoscopy to screen for colon cancer is recommended every 10 years. But for people at higher risk, or if a colonoscopy detects precancerous polyps, follow-up colonoscopies often are scheduled in three- to five-year intervals.

"Although no polyps were noted in the exam in 2002, age and history would suggest that there's a reasonable chance that polyps will be noted this time," Snow said. "If so, they'll be removed and evaluated microscopically."

Because the president will be under the effects of anesthesia, he has elected to implement Section 3 of the 25th Amendment to the Constitution, making Cheney acting president until Bush indicates he is prepared to reassume his authority.

In 2002, Bush transferred presidential powers to Cheney for more than two hours. Snow was unable to tell reporters just how long Cheney would be in charge this time around, though most likely it will be for only a few hours. Last time Cheney was in charge he didn't sign any bills, order the military to go charging in anywhere or do anything else that would have been otherwise handled by President Bush himself.

It was only the second time in history that the Constitution's presidential disability clause was invoked. President Reagan was the first to invoke the Constitution's 25th Amendment since its adoption in 1967 as a means of dealing with presidential disability and succession.

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