Friday, February 15, 2008

10 Most Mismatched Movie Couples

10 Most Mismatched Movie Couples

Nick Nolte & Julia Roberts
I Love Trouble - 1994
In the early 90's, Julia came out of nowhere to become the biggest female star in the world. Nick was named People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" in 1992. So why not pair them together in a screwball comedy about dueling reporters? Because he was nearly twice her age, and both of them appeared to be painfully aware of that fact.

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez
Gigli - 2003
Ah, "Gigli." The makers of "Ishtar" thank you for replacing their movie title as the funny word that means "embarrassing flop." Ben and J.Lo met on the set of their ill-conceived gangster-meets-lesbian love story, and the tabloids were packed with stories about them every week thereafter. Still, real life sparks don't always translate to the screen, and the movie's failure killed the couple's future.

Harrison Ford & Anne Heche
Six Days, Seven Nights - 1998
When Anne Heche was cast in this romantic action movie, she was a little-known but well-respected actress. By the time the film hit screens, everybody knew her as Ellen DeGeneres' girlfriend. But even without the real world intruding, there's no way anyone would buy the 29-year-old Heche and 56-year-old Ford ending up together, no matter how much time they spent on a desert island.

Kevin Spacey & Kate Bosworth
Beyond the Sea - 2004
The real Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee were quite an odd couple. He was a balding singer from the Bronx; she was a 16-year-old movie star. But somehow they made it work. In the movie of Darin's life, however, Spacey and Bosworth were completely unbelievable. It didn't help that Spacey was eight years older than the actual Darin ever lived to be. At least his hairline fit the part.

Hayden Christensen & Natalie Portman
Star Wars - Episode II and Episode III - 2002/2005
After watching the uncomfortable scenes with Natalie Portman and 10-year-old Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace, Star Wars fans everywhere thought, "It can't get worse than this." Oh, how little they knew. For the next two prequels, they were faced with Portman and Christensen stiffly reciting George Lucas' leaden dialogue. When the giant lizard Obi-Wan rides is more convincing than their romance, it's enough to make you want to scream "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Madonna & Adriano Giannini
Swept Away - 2002
The original Italian 1974 film "Swept Away," was an examination of class and gender issues. Guy Ritchie's 2002 remake is an examination of his wife's dedication to Pilates. Watching this movie makes you not only question why Madonna would fall for Adriano Giannini's crude and abusive fisherman, but why she thought it'd be a good idea to make another movie with her spouse after having already bombed with her previous husband Sean Penn in "Shanghai Surprise."

Dan Aykroyd & Rosie O'Donnell
Exit to Eden - 1994
"Exit to Eden" was a dark, romantic novel by "Interview With a Vampire" author Anne Rice about bondage and S&M. Who better, then, to turn it into a movie than the creator of "Mork and Mindy?" An even better question: what movie executive thought that the formula for box office gold was putting Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell in skimpy studded leather outfits? As the comic relief they are painfully unfunny, and not even the kind of painful that a dominatrix would enjoy.

Justin Guarini & Kelly Clarkson
From Justin to Kelly - 2003
Casting the first and second place finishers of "American Idol" in the lead roles of a movie is sort of like letting the "Top Chef" winners perform your appendectomy. You would think being on a TV show together would make both Justin and Kelly comfortable being in the presence of both a camera and each other, but they look lost without Simon around to berate them. At least the dismal failure of the movie insured that we wouldn't be subjected to "From Jordin to Sanjaya."

Eddie Murphy & Eddie Murphy
Norbit - 2006
It took 25 years of hard work for Eddie Murphy to go from "Saturday Night Live" cast member to Oscar-nominated thespian. But it took just 2-1/2 minutes of the "Norbit" trailer to kill any hope he ever had of being taken seriously again. As both the nerdy title character and his overweight and domineering wife Rasputia, Murphy proved he can be supremely unpleasant no matter what size or gender.

Woody Allen & Any Actress 20+ Years Younger than Him
It was always part of the comedy in Woody Allen's early movies how a bespectacled, awkward guy like him could end up with gorgeous women. Unfortunately, no one ever let Woody in on the joke. And by the time he was casting women like Téa Leoni (31 years younger than him) and Julia Roberts (32), it really stopped being funny. The most absurd: when his character in "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is seduced by Charlize Theron (four decades younger than Woody).

No comments: