Showing posts with label Alec Baldwin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alec Baldwin. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Alec Baldwin: Next Mayor of New York?

Now that Anthony Weiner has effectively knocked himself out of the 2013 NYC Mayor race, rumor is that actor Alec Baldwin may be entering the race. As he said in January to Eliot Spitzer: "I do believe that people want to believe that someone who deeply cares about the middle class... would like to seek public office." Stay tuned...

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Two and a Half Men Is Better Than None

Alec Baldwin
March 11, 2011
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alec-baldwin/alec-baldwin-charlie-sheen_b_834847.html

I read in the paper today that Conan O'Brien's documentary is out this weekend. The one that chronicles the purportedly healing journey/concert tour he went on after his messy divorce from NBC. I also read that Charlie Sheen is suing Warner Brothers for $100 million and the two of these things reminded me of one of the more character-building experiences that I had in my career, many years ago.

People often ask me why I never continued in the role of Jack Ryan in the movies based on Tom Clancy's great novels. Usually, I have given a half truth as an answer, something about scheduling conflicts and so forth. But the truth is the studio cut my throat. Or, more specifically, an executive at the studio named David Kirkpatrick who was, as studio executives are on their way both up and down the ladder, eager to prove he had that special quality that studio executives are eager to display. That quality is an utter lack of sentimentality while transacting deals around a business built on sentimentality.

The run of events in 1991 went like this. John McTiernan, who directed The Hunt For Red October, called me repeatedly over a period of a few days and that got my attention because John was not someone who did that. I knew it must be something important. I had been traveling to Syracuse to see my mother who had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I had lost my dad in 1983 to lung cancer when he was fifty-five and the idea of being an orphan, technically speaking, at the age of 33 weighed heavily on me. It took a few rounds before John and I connected.

On the phone, John told me that during the period of the previous few months, he had been negotiating to do a film with a very famous movie star who had dropped out of his film days before so that he could go star in the sequels to The Hunt For Red October. John further told me that Paramount owed the actor a large sum of money for a greenlit film that fell apart prior to this, and pushing me aside would help to alleviate that debt and put someone with much greater strength at the box office than mine in the role. I sat there mildly stunned because not only was I in an active negotiation with Paramount, but for them to negotiate simultaneously with another actor was against the law. My mother was about to have a double mastectomy. I asked John if he was sure about all of this and he said yes, he had talked with the famous actor directly who confirmed the story. All of this served to explain why the studio would not close my deal over what I thought were some relatively arbitrary issues surrounding the dates of production.

I got a call from Mace Neufeld, the film's producer who I had worked with on Hunt. The call resembled that final scene in Sorry, Wrong Number (great film), where Burt Lancaster exhorts Barbara Stanwyck to get out of bed and scream for help lest she be killed by emissaries of Lancaster himself. Neufeld told me to sign whatever deal they were offering and "the rest would take care of itself."

I flew from Syracuse to Long Island to attend to some business. I drove to a friend's home where I was to have dinner and was informed by my assistant that I should call David Kirkpatrick right away. Kirkpatrick was a beady-eyed, untalented tool who had seemed like he was up to something throughout my sequel negotiation. Now, he became vividly clear. I had to decide if I would agree to an open-ended clause relating to dates for the first sequel and thus completely give up the chance to do one of the greatest dramas in the American theatre, or he would rescind my offer. They had the other guy all lined up, and they were looking for a way to gut me. I thought he wasn't serious at first. Then, when I realized he was, I chose A Streetcar Named Desire.

A lot changed in my life with that decision. And I do not regret it. The movie and television business are filled with some of the most wonderful and talented people you could ever know. It is also the rock under which you find the biggest, lyingest, thievingest scumbags on Earth. (They tend to be the ones that are not in any craft or union related to actually making a movie.) However, one of the great oddities in show business is how someone you respect can have a good experience with someone you loathe. Conan had a tough time reconciling Jeff Zucker's decisions. Maybe I would have too. Meanwhile, Jeff has only been supportive of me during my recent years at NBC. Go figure.

Conan has moved on and his great talent is undiminished by his difficult experiences. I had wanted to say to him back then what I will now offer to Charlie. You can't win. Really. You can't. When executives at studios and networks move up to the highest ranks, they are given a book. The book is called How to Handle Actors. And one principle held dear in that book is that no actor is greater than the show itself when the show is a hit. And, in that regard, they are often right. Add to that the fact that the actor who is torturing their diseased egos is a drug-addled, porn star-squiring, near-Joycean Internet ranter, and they really want you to go.

Granted, it didn't get real until you insulted them. And your suit may have real grounds.

But you know what you should do? Take a nap. Get a shower. Call Chuck. Go on Letterman and make an apology. Write a huge check to the B'Nai Brith. And then beg for your job back. Your fans demand it. You will never win because when you are as big a douchebag as some of these guys are, they have no choice but to snuff you. (Do you secretly want to get snuffed? So you can go back and make movies?)

Sober up, Charlie. And get back on TV, if it's not too late. This is America. You want to really piss off Chuck and Warner Brothers and CBS? Beg for America's forgiveness. They will give it to you. And then go back. You are a great television star. And you've got the gig. As I learned from closely observing Tony Bennett so I could impersonate him on SNL, this is supposed to be fun.

P.S.... buy Cryer a really nice car.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Delaware Masturbators March Against O’Donnell

Fri, 17 Sep 2010
andy@borowitzreport.com
Delaware Masturbators March Against O’Donnell
Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History

WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.

Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”

Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.

“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said. “And you know what individualists like to do.”

He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”

Tracy Klugian, a homemaker and masturbator from Dover, Delaware, said she is “puzzled” by what she sees as the contradictory nature of candidate O’Donnell’s position: “If you’re against masturbation, why would you want to serve in Congress?”

A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, “especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards.”


The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has “one of the funniest Twitter feeds around.”

Upcoming Events
October 20, 2010 at 08:00 PM

Andy and Alec Baldwin!
See Andy in his only New York appearance this fall, with his special guests Alec Baldwin, Jeffrey Toobin and Judy Gold.

Location:
The 92nd Street Y, 92nd and Lexington
For tickets go to Andy Borowitz Live
The Borowitz Report: Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sarah Palin appears on 'Saturday Night Live'

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/18/palin.snl/

Sarah Palin appears on 'Saturday Night Live'
Story Highlights
Sarah Palin appears on "Saturday Night Live" with former cast member Tina Fey
Sketch also featured "30 Rock" actor Alec Baldwin
Fey has played Palin several times on the show

NEW YORK (CNN) -- Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin appeared on NBC's "Saturday Night Live," along with Palin lookalike Tina Fey.

The show's opening sketch featured a mock press conference with Fey reprising her role as the Alaska governor.

The piece then cut to a shot of Palin watching Fey's performance on a television monitor with Lorne Michaels, the show's executive producer.

"I just didn't think it was a realistic depiction of the way my press conferences would have gone," she said.

"Why couldn't we have done the '30 Rock' sketch that I wrote?" she asked, referring to the NBC comedy which stars Fey.

"Honestly, not enough people know that show," Michaels responds.

The opening sketch also featured a surprise visit by Alec Baldwin, Fey's "30 Rock" co-star, who mistook Palin for Fey, and tried to convince Michaels not to let Fey appear on the show with the governor. He snapped his fingers, trying to remember the nickname some had given Palin.

"Caribou Barbie," Palin reminded him.

Baldwin, still oblivious that he was talking to the governor, continued: "You want her, our Tina, to go out there and stand there with that horrible woman," he asked. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Michaels points out he was standing next to the real Palin.

"Forgive me, I must say this," Baldwin backtracked. "You are way hotter in person. I mean seriously. I mean, I can't believe they let her play you."

Palin laughed and responded that Baldwin's brother, Stephen, was her favorite. Stephen Baldwin, also an actor, is a Christian conservative with his own ministry.

Palin then took the podium and told the reporters she was not going to take any of their questions.

She then uttered the signature line that opens the show every weekend: "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night."

Later in the show, Palin appeared on SNL's "Weekend Update" with cast members Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers.

"I've been thinking it over and I'm not going to do the piece we rehearsed," Palin told Meyers. "My gut is telling me it might be a bad idea for the campaign."

Poehler said she would do the part and launched into a rap about being Sarah Palin. Among her backup dancers was cast member Jason Sukeikis who impersonated Palin's husband, Todd.

Palin grooved along to the music, even raising her hands when Poehler sang "All the mavericks in the house, put your hands up! All the plumbers in the house, put your pants up!"

The plumber reference was meant to invoke the now-famous Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher, who Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain has held up as a small business owner who will see his taxes rise if his Democratic rival, Sen. Barack Obama, wins the election.

In both skits, Palin delivered her lines with a straight face but mostly played the comic foil to the show's cast of mischief-makers.

On Thursday, multiple sources told CNN that Palin planned to appear on the hit show.

"Saturday Night Live" has featured three opening skits in which former cast member and Palin lookalike Tina Fey portrays the Alaska governor.

Fey first appeared as Palin for the show's season premiere last month in a sketch with SNL cast member Amy Poehler, who played Sen. Hillary Clinton.

Fey reprised her role as Palin two weeks later, again alongside Poehler, who played CBS's Katie Couric in a parody of Palin's interview with the CBS anchor earlier that week.

Earlier this week, Palin told reporters that she'd love to appear on the show with Fey, The Associated Press reported.

"I love her, she's a hoot and she's so talented," Palin said, according to the AP.

"It would be fun to meet her, imitate her and keep on giving her new material."

CNN's Peter Hamby and Ed Hornick contributed to this report.

Saturday Night Live • Tina Fey • Sarah Palin

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Political Office In Alec Baldwin's Future?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/05/08/60minutes/printable4079846.shtml

Political Office In Alec Baldwin's Future?
May 8, 2008

(CBS) Now that actor Alec Baldwin is 50 years old, he might run for political office. Baldwin talks to 60 Minutes correspondent Morley Safer about that and other aspects of his life, including his very public divorce and custody battle, in a profile to be broadcast this Sunday, May 11, at 7 p.m. ET/PT.

A decade ago, Baldwin was interested in politics, but said he was only 39 and all the people who ran the world were in their fifties. Since then, he has publicly dismissed the notion of running for office. A few weeks ago, he changed his mind. "There's other things I want to do [besides acting]. I mean, in a matter of weeks, I'm going to be 50," says Baldwin, who turned 50 on April 3. "There’s no age limit on running for office, to a degree. [It is] something I might do one day," says Baldwin.

Baldwin says he is ready for the public scrutiny and realizes the tact one must use when running for office because he's learned a lesson about what he says and how it can affect others in the nasty divorce-custody battle with his ex-wife, Kim Basinger. The spat resulted in the publication of an embarrassing voicemail to his daughter in which he calls her a "thoughtless little pig."

"If you go through the things I have gone through with the media like this thing with my daughter, there’s only one thing that comes to mind initially: that is how my daughter must have felt to have this played out in public," Baldwin tells Safer. "The second thing I realize is: you can pretty much bet all you own that I would never leave another voicemail message for my daughter that wasn’t just like something out of a Rogers and Hammerstein score."

Baldwin discusses the incident with his daughter and the divorce and shows he hasn't lost any of his combativeness. When asked by Safer whether it was abusive to call his ex-wife's lawyer a "300-pound. homunculus with a face like a clenched fist," he replies, "I was being kind, Morley."

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Ubisoft subsumes Tom Clancy

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6188151.html

Ubisoft subsumes Tom Clancy, new MMOG en route?

Author-inspired techno-military media empire--including book, film, and game rights--purchased by Rainbow Six publisher; CEO Yves Guillemot says Ubi looking at massively multiplayer project.

This week began with news that Sam Raimi, director of the Spider-Man and Evil Dead trilogies, was in talks to resurrect film hero Jack Ryan. The marine-turned-CIA-analyst-turned-reluctant-hero was played by Alec Baldwin in The Hunt for Red October (1988) and Harrison Ford in Patriot Games (1992) and Clear and Present Danger (1994). In 2002, an attempt was made to reboot the series with Ben Affleck in The Sum of All Fears (2002).

The now even-wealthier Tom Clancy. However, the character of Jack Ryan was famous long before his film debut. He was the preeminent literary cold warrior in 1980s fiction, starring in a series of novels by Tom Clancy. Clancy's military expertise and fast-paced writing style made every one of his 14-plus books a bestseller, which made the author rich enough to attempt to buy the Minnesota Vikings football team in 1998.

Though that deal eventually fell through, the 20 years since his first novel was published have seen Tom Clancy become less of an author and more of a brand. Besides the aforementioned films, his name is plastered on several series of books by other authors, including Tom Clancy's Ops Center and Tom Clancy's NetForce.

The past 10 years have also seen the Tom Clancy brand become a heavy hitter in the game industry, with the Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six, Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell, and Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon series selling tens of millions of copies on every platform. Two new franchises, Tom Clancy's Air Combat and Tom Clancy's EndWar, are also in development, the latter of which already has a best-selling novel complementing it.

With the Tom Clancy brand showing no signs of slowing down in gaming, Ubisoft has cut a deal with the 61-year-old author. Today, the Paris-based publisher of every Tom Clancy game announced it has acquired rights to the Tom Clancy name in virtually all forms of media. Under the deal, Ubisoft now has all rights "on a perpetual basis and free of all related future royalty payments" to make or license Tom Clancy-branded "video games and ancillary products including related books, movies, and merchandising products."

Though Ubisoft is publicly traded on the Paris Bourse, it did not disclose the amount it paid to Clancy to own his birth name. However, the company did drop some hints when it said that not having to pay royalties to Clancy would have "an average positive impact on Ubisoft's operating income of a minimum of 5 million euros ($7.7 million) per year." It also said it would be paying Clancy in four installments over its next three fiscal years. When its current fiscal year ends on March 31, 2008, the company predicts to have 130 million euros ($200 million) in cash reserves.

In a conference call with analysts after the announcement, Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot further outlined his company's plans for the Tom Clancy license. First, though, he talked up the strength of the Tom Clancy brand, saying it was the number-two brand in the US last year in terms of sales, according to the NPD group. He also said that the most recent game to bear the author's name, Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2, had already shipped 1 million copies in the US, half of which he expected to sell in the first week after the game's March 18 release.

Guillemot also said that the acquisition of the Clancy brand will lead to Ubisoft "becoming a major player" in both book publishing and film production. He said the company retains full rights to future print and celluloid offshoots of Tom Clancy branded films, and also that the company was exploring television and online video offerings related to existing brands.

To that end, Guillemot talked up how Ubisoft now has "complete editorial control" over the Tom Clancy brands, which would allow characters from one of the various series bearing the name to appear in another. This crossover potential would be especially important in games, he said, declaring, "It will allow for cross-fertilization of characters between games like Super Smash Bros."

The executive also revealed that another big factor in the acquisition was the fact the deal allows Ubisoft to explore a Tom Clancy-branded massively multiplayer project. "We will be able to adapt the brand to new formats, in particular the MMO format, where the royalties were a big thing holding us back," said Guillemot. Though no specific game was announced, his was reminiscent of those of Activision CEO Bobby Kotick, who recently dropped a huge hint to a group of investors his company was considering a massively multiplayer project based on the Call of Duty series.

That said, Guillemot also revealed the Clancy deal's limitations. For one, it doesn't include exclusive rights to Clancy's past catalog of books, the rights to which are shared among several parties. Second, the deal does not include rights to books or films set in the Rainbow Six universe, which remain with another, undisclosed party.

By Tor Thorsen -- GameSpot
Posted Mar 20, 2008

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Greg Palast Election Files

You're not supposed to see this: all the Greg Palast reports originally broadcast on BBC Television - and the reports they haven't broadcast yet - on the Theft of the Election of 2000. Of 2004. And 2008.

The "Election Files" - the film available only on DVD to supporters of the Palast Investigative Fund .... including never-broadcast interviews with fired US prosecutor David Iglesias, with Bobby Kennedy Jr. blowing the whistle on the vote rustlers, and close ups of Karl Rove-bot Tim Griffin, the caging man, in tears. (You don't want to miss that.)

Watch Palast get busted by Florida State smokies in Katherine Harris' office and YOU decide if, as Harris says in the film, "American democracy has triumphed again."

DON'T whack your goofy brother-in-law with a drumstick just because he says Bush beat Kerry fair and square. Stuff his turkey with the Palast Election Files.

For a donation of at least $50, we'll get it into your hands within two weeks, SIGNED TO YOU PERSONALLY by award-winning investigative reporter Palast.

With the hour-long film are bonus tracks: the confidential documents of the Bush gang. AND Larry David ("Curb Your Enthusiam") reading, "KERRY WON NOW GET OVER IT." Plus Alec Baldwin reading, "Jim Crow in Cyberspace."

Make a tax-deductible donation of at least $75, and we'll add in, signed, Palast's brand new film on DVD, "The Assassination of Hugo Chavez." It's the story of our NEXT oil war reported in advance.

"Palast is America's top investigative reporter - and the funniest," says Randi Rhodes. Find out what's so funny - and so terrifying ... give the gift of truth.

A gift for a friend? Give us their name and Greg will personalize it. Just go to our 'store,' make a donation and leave a note in the box with the names of those who will appreciate the films that Noam Chomsky says, "Upset all the right people."

"Palast is exactly what a journalist is supposed to be - a truth hound, doggedly independent, undaunted by power. His stories bite. They're so relevant they threaten to alter history." - Chicago Tribune

A personal note from Greg:

We absolutely, desperately depend on your holiday time donations. You make the donation, I'll send the gift. The 'Assassination' and 'Election' films are my best stuff - investigation, explanation and the tragicomedy of a White House gone wild. I guarantee you won't get any of this on US mainstream TV - the stories the rest of the world sees.

Real reporting is real expensive. Make a donation and help us buy the shovels to dig out the facts. - Greg

Get a taste of the films at http://www.gregpalast.com/.