Now That's What I Call Movie, Vol. 1

Robalini's Note: Move over Michael Bay & Uwe Boll, Aaron Friedberg and Jason Seltzer are the new names in bad filmmaking...

http://www.avclub.com/content/hater/now_thats_what_i_call_movie_vol__0

Now That's What I Call Movie, Vol. 1 Cast Of References Finally Announced
April 3rd, 2008

For months now, Epic Movie and Meet The Spartans co-referencers Aaron Friedberg and Jason Seltzer have kept all of Hollywood on pins and needles, anxiously awaiting the pair's annual spoof movie casting announcement, or, as it's known in industry circles, The Yuk-Yuk Hilari-eference List. Which pop cultural notables will catch Friedberg and Seltzer's mercilessly referencing eye? Whom will they knock down a peg through simple, pointless impersonation? Whose mere presence will take the place of a joke? (I mean, Jessica Simpson's, obviously. But who else's?) Well, after reading this article, it's clear that Friedberg and Seltzer's current Yuk-Yuk Hilari-eference List is proof that they have their fingers firmly on the pulse of pop culture's cold, dead, steadily bloating corpse. Will Smith’s forthcoming superhero jaunt “Hancock” is going to be spoofed, the “Sex and the City” movie (they’re looking for a guy – yes! A guy! – to play Carrie!) will too, and Mike Myers’s upcoming “The Love Guru” is even getting a ribbing. Aside from the above characters, Friedberg and Seltzer are currently on the lookout for a ‘Jessica Simpson’, a ‘Justin Timberlake’, a ‘Prince’, a ‘Flava Flav’, a ‘Dr Phil’, a ‘Angelina Jolie’, ‘Paris Hilton’, and, of course, a ‘Michael Jackson’. What, no Olsen twins? They would make a great reference/joke. Apparently, the movie, called Goodie Two Shoes, will be tenuously held together under the guise of a Superbad spoof, which begs the question: How will Friedberg & Seltzer maximize the references? In Meet The Spartans, they could simply throw celebrity impersonators into the pit: Hilarity achieved.

But Superbad lacks a giant hole in the middle of the ground. If I were fart-writing this movie--which, let's face it, would never happen: fart-writing is such a boys' club--I would have Goodie Two Shoes take place at a giant house party. Fake McLovin and his date (maybe Fake Jessica Simpson) would be looking for a room in the house to have sex in, and the entirety of the movie (all 70 terrible minutes of it) would be the pair opening door after door to reveal pop culture reference coupling, after pop culture reference coupling. And, of course, for the big finale, Fake McLovin and Fake Jessica Simpson would open the attic door to reveal Fake Juno giving birth on the back of Fake Christian Siriano (while he shouts, "So not fierce!") to Fake Flava Flav, who would then be promptly adopted by Fake Angelina Jolie. The End.