"Beware of whores who say they don't want money. In the long run these are the most expensive whores what can be got."
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library."
“I’ve set my laser from stun to kill.”
“Oh great. If anyone attacks we can blink ‘em to death.”
Buzz Lightyear and Woody in Toy Story
"Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles."