Thursday, April 28, 2011

Lindsay Lohan For President!

Adam Gorightly
April 12, 2011

With the 2012 elections (and the end of the world as we know it!) just around the corner — and the likes of Michelle Bachman and The Donald launching exploratory campaigns — we here at Untamed Dimensions have decided to fire the first election year salvo in a glorious red white and blue explosion of stars and stripes. Damn I love this country!

So, from the great State of California, I nominate that gone party girl and around Hollywood scene maker, Lindsay Lohan for President; that f-you finger-nail paint sportin’, ankle bracelet wearin’, stone fox vixen with an attitude and collagen lip injection that don’t stop. I mean, if we’re gonna throw up brainless eye candy like Sara Palin for public consumption, then we might as well run someone up the flagpole with an edge to her like Lindsay, who likes to toss a few down and isn’t all hung up in some puritanical dream world that became old news over a century ago when dear old uncle Al Crowley announced this as a new eon where mom and apple pie would take a back seat to sex, drugs and rock n’ roll!

I mean, who would you rather party with? With that in mind we’ll call our political party, The Party Party, and I hearby nominate Linday (she has dropped the Lohan part, I guess) as the next President of these here United States, and while we’re at it we might as well nominate Lindsay as Vice President as well.

No comments: