Marcus Bachmann Is a Homo!!!

(Not That There's Anything Wrong With That)
Photo courtesy of UnicornBooty.com

Come on, just look at the guy!

EXCLUSIVE FROM THE KONFORMIST!!!
MUST CREDIT ROBERT STERLING & THE KONFORMIST!!!

When the progressive press first began reporting on Marcus Bachman's Christian-right gay "reparative therapy" it was presented with both outrage and disgust. Here was the husband of the woman who could become the first female president in 2012 (okay, not really) and he was involved in the most pseudo-science of supposed psychiatric treatments which have caused immense psychological damage to those who have been involved.

But soon, the disdain was conquered by another response: snickering. This was due to videos of interviews with Bachmann (and though I'm not a fan of Jon Stewart, credit must be given to The Daily Show for presenting some) which seemed to give a pretty logical explanation for his fixation on curing homosexuality. Simply put, after watching Bachmann, it's hard to believe this guy doesn't have a collection of Judy Garland dolls in his possession. Reportedly, Vegas is already receiving over/under bets on the date where some male bodybuilder/"massage therapist" comes outs with juicy details of their meth-fueled escapades.

We shouldn't laugh too hard at the guy (even though it's quite funny) because he is obviously a pained man. Yes, he no doubt has caused intense pain to many by preaching a belief his own internal biological desires rebel against, but clearly the person who has suffering the most is himself through tortured self-hatred. He's so desperated to convince everyone (including himself) that he's not gay, he married Michele Bachmann. That's got to be the most psychotic homosexual reparative therapy you can imagine.

So go ahead Marcus, come out of the closet. Better that than being an object of mockery and heckling at political rallies for your wife and the continued punchline for jokes. We'll embrace you with open arms!