Harry S. Truman is rolling over in his grave

From Conspiracy Nation ( http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html ):

(Melchizedek Communique, MC031609) Harry S. Truman is rolling over in his grave due to the latest antics of George W. Bush. And a special division of U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, charged with response to former presidents rolling over in their graves, is on high alert.

It was Fitzgerald, the mighty U.S. Attorney for Northern Illinois, who had responded earlier when, here in Illinois, Abraham Lincoln had been rolling over in his grave. But this latest restlessness of the deceased Harry S. Truman has stunned even the case-hardened Fitzgerald.

When Harry S. Truman left the White House in 1953, "he had to take out a bank loan to tide him over in private life. He had no official government income or support except for his Army pension of $112.56 a month." But Truman had too much honor to accept any money for "endorsements" and "consultings". Said Truman, "I could never lend myself to any transaction, however respectable, that would commercialize on the prestige and dignity of the office of the presidency." [1]

It was beneath the personal honor of Truman to trade off the presidency for "speaking fees" and such.

Gerald Ford was the first to decide, "What is honor, compared with speaking fees?" Ford cashed in by giving paid speeches and by joining some 20 corporate boards. [1]

Then good old Ronald Reagan soared past Ford in income by trading the prestige of the U.S. presidency for $2 million annually. [1]

Along came George H.W. Bush, father of "Dubya" Bush. "Poppy" Bush raked in $$$ millions on the lecture circuit, after he left office in 1993. [1]

"Bill Clinton, though," notices The Week magazine, "has taken the moneymaking ability of ex-presidents to a new level." Today (Nov. 2008), "thanks to thousands of speeches, lucrative consulting jobs, and book advances and royalties, he and Hillary are worth more than $100 million." [1]

Who says the U.S. presidency isn't for sale?

Asked in November 2008 about his plans, Dubya Bush replied, "I'll give some speeches, just to replenish the ol' coffers." [1] Now, in an update ironically titled, "Replenishing the ol' coffers", The Week magazine reveals that George W. Bush "announced he was launching an international speaking tour." The Dubya Bush Replenishing The Ol' Coffers International Speaking Tour is scheduled to begin tomorrow, March 17th (St. Patrick's Day), in Canada. [2]

It is not known if Dubya Bush will be guzzling Jim Beam whisky during the tour. It has been rumored ol' Dubya has been hitting the sauce pretty hard. [3]

The special division of Patrick Fitzgerald's Rolling Over In Their Graves department is on high alert. Harry S. Truman could not be reached for comment.
------- Sources -------
[1] "Briefing: Life after the White House", The Week magazine, Nov. 21, 2008, p. 15
[2] "Replenishing the ol' coffers", from "Good Week For" section of The Week magazine, March 20, 2009, p. 6
[3] Melchizedek Communique MC022809
http://www.shout.net/~bigred/mc022809.html